A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, I feel as if everyone around me are getting into relationships and im just by myself :(. all my friends are now in relationships and I feel as if im the only one which isn't. My friends all have there own lives now, with having babies or in a serious relationship. i'm the only one which is not and its making me feel so down. What can i do to cheer myself up without feeling everyone is happy, but i am not ?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): Speaking from experience with everyone around me moving forward while I stood in one place trying to figure out why I wasn’t happy, my best advice is to find things that you enjoy doing. Other’s happiness doesn’t mean the same things will make you as happy as they are. Your friends being in relationships and having babies is what they wanted their lives to consist of at this point, that in no way means it’s what it’s going to take to make YOU happy. You have to figure out what you want to do, do you want to have a relationship with someone? Do you want to look into more education or a different career? Do you want to move to a different town or state and make a new name for yourself? Being 18-21 and still living at home with parents or still looking for a mate to settle down with doesn’t mean your life is empty. It just means that you don’t have as much responsibility as other people, which is a pretty awesome feeling if you ask me! :D However, I understand the need to be more than you are, I understand the need to want more than you have. Being happy isn’t just a state of mind, it’s the realization that you have people in your life that you care about that in turn care about you; that you’re better off than a lot of other people in the world. You could start doing regular exercise for example. For me, walking around a community track every day a few times gives me the confidence boost that I need to always feel like I’m not wasting my life. It gives off a sexy energy that tosses all feeling of laziness to the wind. It also tends to help any feeling of depression. It’s impossible to walk a mile around a dull track and still think “I am just so sad.” I guarantee you; the mindset at that point is “Oh my God… my feet are going to hate me tomorrow.” Little things like that can make a big difference. Going by the fact that you mentioned the word “relationship” the most in your post, I’d say you’re feeling lonely without a counterpart. Online dating might be good to look into, it gives you the freedom to get to know someone that you believe you could be attracted to with the time and space to start a different chapter of your life. Or even regular dating. Are there any ‘hang-out’ spots near where you live? Any community centers to go to? Feeling lonely and sad isn’t going to bring Prince Charming to your door. In this day, we have to get out there and find him if we want him.
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (8 September 2010):
Try to remember that everything looks better on the other side of the fence. Sure, serious relationships are great and all, but I'm sure that your friends sometimes seriously envy you for your freedom. And having babies? You're only around 20, which is rather early to be having children. Your early 20s should be spent adventuring and traveling and doing whatever you want, before you have to settle down. When your friends have children, they will be tired, stressed, possibly on a tight budget, etc. I've been in serious relationships for the last 5-6 years, with barely a break in between. And I see some of my friends that are single and having the time of their lives. It's nice to have someone there for you that you can count on, and the comfort is nice, and I wouldn't trade my relationship for the world, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the excitement, the flirting, the unknown. I think you need to maybe spend a bit less time in couple land, with all your friends in relationships. Try to hang out with some single girls, hit up the town. Take some classes (art, cooking, dance, fitness, etc), meet some people, live your life, and enjoy your freedom. This is the time to spoil yourself where you don't have to be accountable to anyone else. It's all about attitude. Enjoy your single-ness.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Chocolate:)  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Well, you could go out and do stuff that YOU like to do. And just because all of your friends have relationships, doesnt mean that you should be unhappy. Everyone has a time for that special person. Just get out there. You never know what you'll find... Or WHO you'll find! :) Hope it helps!
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