A
male
age
41-50,
*akomako
writes:recently I have been in a lot of stress because of work, and I'm kind of depressed, I don't know how long its been like this, and now this is affecting my marriage we fight a lot and sometimes I feel that she is my friend only when everything is ok, now she blames me and says I don't feel her, and that make me angry because I feel she doesn't feel me, I try to do somethings, I brought her flowers and I did small things, I know it is small things but I feel that she still angry and no matter what I do she is still made at me, and remind me of our engagement time, that everything used to be better, we have been married for six years.I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 October 2013):
 I've discovered that most of the problems in marriage stem from lack of communication. I have also learned that many couples need help in that area.
As such I recommend if possible that you two consider a stint with a marriage counselor to figure out what you are not communicating to each other.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2013): First thing is first - what are you doing to sort out your depression? You need to see a doctor to get it sorted out. You say it's been like this for a long time so it's understandable that your wife is feeling the strain too. It's draining having to deal with a depressed person (not that it's your fault), and if you're not getting treatment then she probably doesn't see an end to it either. So that should be your first step.As for your relationship with your wife, it sounds like neither of you are listening to the other. The only way you will break this cycle is if you change the way you interact with each other. Instead of getting angry, tell your wife that you realise your illness has been tough on her too. Tell her you are going to seek treatment because you want yo get yourself and your marriage back on track. Then tell her you'll need her support to get through it. Make it a team effort. It's not you versus her, it's both of you working to fix your marriage. It will be hard at first because it sounds like there is a lot of resentment between you two, so you have to do your best to overcome that and make a conscious effort to start listening to your wife and understanding her. If you do that there's a really good chance she'll do the same for you. If you both do that, you should start to see a big improvement between the pair of you. Try your best to really listen and don't let things escalate into an argument. Like I say it will be tough but it will be worth it.
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