A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I really feel like im going out of my mind and i dont know which way to turn. I need someone to talk to. This might sound familiar as i have asked for advice previously. I met my partner over 2 years ago. we were long distant. after a year he asked me to move in with him. My youngest son was about to go to uni so i agreed. He has 2 children from a previous marriage that we see every other weekend and All of the school hols as thier mother has to work. She ran off with a friend of his so its by no means ammicable. They do not live in the same area so it is a 3 hour drive to pick them up on a friday then they have activities on saturdays so he has to drive back to take them again. Then take them home again on sunday. I think this is too much as it is impossible for us to make any plans. Also after a few months of me moving here and leaving my friends and family, he took a job working away. defeats the object in my opinion. But the money was good although he is not short of money as he is not a big spender. He likes to save mostly for the kids. The kids are 10 and 13 so not babies but they constantly argue and fight and usually get all thier own way. He is not good at discplin. I have tried to inforce a little but i just get the ITS NOT YOUR HOUSE all the time. Im finding this really difficult as it causes many arguments. His ex wife passes notes to him through the children about what weeks he is having them and how long for. I Have to book time off work well in advance so cannot always have the same hols. I do my best to accomodate. It just seems i am doing all the giving here and not getting much in return. I understand that he is between a rock and a hard place with the childen and he has to do as he is told. He says he will stand up to her and change things but he is too scared to act on it. Im not perfect, nobody is but the house is hectic and run by the kids and its waring me down. If i mention what i have given up for him, he just tells me to shut up and stop feeling sorry for myself. by the way. before i moved in he said we would buy somewhere of our own after a year or 2. now he is speding a fortune on the house and does not want to sell it. He also said he wouldnt rule out marraige[before i move in of course] now its out of the question. I have accepted this as i do everything else. I have tried to talk to him but ends up in a big row. I have suggested moving out and getting a place of my own but he thinks its a stupid idea. we had a huge argument at the weekend because we planned to go away with the kids but there was a note saying his son had to be taken to football. Its not his fault and he loves to play so it was cancelled. I went to stay with a friend and he has not even contacted me. Justgets on with his life. I dont want to leave and i love him to bits, im getting upset as i type this but im miserable. I know i have to do something or im gonna go mad. Thankyou.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): I think ill be the first to answer this q as it is my own. Maybe he is right, I am feeling sorry for myself, that is why im in tears and asking for advice from strangers. I feel like a right saddo. there is more tolife than men. I need to get out there and get one. A life that is, not a man lol. I feel much better now after taking my own advice. Cheers and good luck to you all.x
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