A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy a couple years ago (let's call him Adam), and it was immediately clear he liked me, but I had a boyfriend. We hung out a handful of times over the next 2 years, but I kept it friendly. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, so Adam and I started hanging out romantically. We hung out romantically a few times and then one night he made me dinner. He was very sweet, pulled out all the stops. We started making out later, and I went to touch his belt, and he said that he wanted to go slow because he really liked me and had wanted this for a while. I pulled back and was sort of weirded out. In retrospect, it was sweet, but in the moment it was just kind of embarrassing. I think perhaps he felt bad that I was feeling weird, so he initiated and we ended up hooking up. It all went well, and we ended up hanging out again the next night, and this time we had sex and I slept over. The next morning we had breakfast and then I went home. He didn't text me for a couple days but then texted me good luck because I had something big going on for work. After my big thing for work, I texted him that I was done and we chatted a bit. I didn't hear anything the next day, so I texted him. We chatted a bit and that was it. Haven't heard anything from him now in 3 days. That might not seem like a long time, but it's the weekend, and it seems weird he hasn't reached out to make any plans. Of course before we had sex, he was more eager to text and make plans. Now it seems he is a lot less interested in me or perhaps not interested at all. Clearly his statement that we should slow down was a warning...one that I didn't heed. Am I reading this right? If I am, how do I get his interest back? I have not texted him since a few days ago, hoping that would signal I didn't care and was busy...but still nothing...Has anyone ever gotten your interest back after you were sure you were done? If so, how did they do it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2019): Sort of related to your situation. My wife I and met at a college bar. We hit it off pretty well and made out by her car. Called her up and she said nicely that she had a boyfriend and doesn't go out with others. We meet a few times more at the bar, made out in the car again and she gave me a BJ. She calls me up, says she got caught up in the moment and should have never done that. The next times we meet she keeps me at arms length. I give her one last try, I ask if she would like to hike the Appalachian Trail Sat. She said she'd love to. About five miles in we veer off the trail to catch this amazing view. We have sex there, it's really special.
Take him hiking or biking. I bike a lot on another trail and see couples making out a lot.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 April 2019):
 EDIT...
He might BE interested in more than sex, but his actions does really show that.
Should have been:
He might BE interested in more than sex, but his actions DOESN'T really show that.
Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 April 2019):
First of all, it's Easter - so many people do stuff with their families.
Second of all, I think he got what he wanted from you. He might have build this fantasy of you and when you were the "aggressor" sexually YOU changed that fantasy and he cooled off.
He might BE interested in more than sex, but his actions does really show that.
My advice? STOP "chasing him". Pull back, pull away. Be busy - see family, go out with friends (don't hook up with anyone) but DO have a BUSY social life.
And if he still doesn't contact you AT ALL after week (from today). I think you need to consider HE didn't just lose interest, he just wasn't as into you as YOU thought he was. After all, it's been 2 years since you first met, things change...
And then you CUT him loose, block him and MOVE on.
You can't MAKE someone like you or be interested in you again?
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