A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 years old and it really really hurts every time I have sex with my boyfriend. We've been together for 2.5 years and its beginning to affect our relationship because he hates hurting me. Its gradually started hurting more and more since we've been together. Its a really sharp intense pain about 1 inch in and the pain stays for a while. Sometimes it goes but other times we have to stop cuz it hurts so bad. I've been to the doctor about it - it was similar to the pain from a speculum but on a wayyyyy less level. She said she thought i had vulvodynia but I am not sure as the pain isnt at the front its more inside. She tried me on amitryptiline but i was having so many side affects I couldnt continue. I read about other conditions like vaginisthmus but its fine when I put a tampon in. I didnt know whether it is because I am not used to penetration (as we dont have sex much anymore) so bought a vibrator but that hurt bad, exactly the same. I used to think it could have been because of dryness but when weve used water based lubricants, the pain still hasnt gone away despite it being smoother. And we have plenty of foreplay, I am fully like turned on and in the mood.Does anyone know what it is or what could help? Would be grateful for any suggestions, its really getting me down :(Thanks
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foreplay, in the mood, lubricant, tampon, vibrator Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): Please see a doctor, it sounds like endometriosis or an ovarian cyst given what you are saying about deep pain. I have them both and have a lot of difficulties with sex
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Unless there is a medical reason for why it hurts then my bet is that you aren't fully lubricated. You need to use more lubricant, or get even wetter, and have lubricant on his penis as well, and use loads of it. Lubricants can dry up pretty fast, and if your body doesn't produce enough lubricant by itself (with some women that's just the way it is, even if they are turned on) then you need to re-apply lubricant while having sex as well. Because it will dry up.
If so, your boyfriend needs to not thrust so much, but stay inside you and not move far out, but be very gentle when you have sex.
Some times if my man gets too eager he thrusts too much, and I start to feel pain as well from the friction if I am not wet enough.
Try having sex in the shower or in the bathtub, as the water can help soothing it and making things go smoothly.
And have a vibrator that is small enough for you to get pleasure from and NOT pain. It could be that your boyfriend's penis is just too big for you.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Go to the dr ask for a urine test. For chlamydia this is a silent std and can be dormant in either partner for years this can only be found from a urine test if positive you and your partner take tablets no sex for 3 weeks then good to go.l if you leave it to long it can destroy your insides do you bleed at all when having sex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): No one here can help you with a diagnosis OP and speculation is not going to do you any favours. You have to stop having sex though OP until this issue is resolved.
Did you just go see your doctor or a gyn? You need to see a gyn. Also you say you stopped the treatment because of side effects, did your doctor tell you to stop taking the meds or did you decide on your own?
You need to stop shoving things up there that are causing you pain OP you could be doing serious damage.
Go see a gyn, and make sure if they don't already that you stopped taking your meds.
One piece of advice OP, please try not to speculate based on searching your symptoms on the internet, it'll only make you worried more and it won't help. Best to make an appointment to see a gyn and keep harassing your doctors to find an answer and treatment. Don't let it go, if one thing doesn't work try another etc. Get a second opinion if you have to.
As for your boyfriend he should understand, you can't be shoving his willy or anything big up there until you've healed until then just give him plenty of head and he will have very little to complain about.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (23 April 2012):
 We are not doctors, generally, so are not able to answer you, but this is serious enough for you to return to your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist for help.
Good luck.
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