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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for 5 1/2 years, we are both heavily involved with each other and have been through a lot. We are now living together and things have become "comfortable". The problem is that she never shows any affection towards me, we hardly ever have sex and usually have some form of arguement or sulk at each other at least once a day.I have tried everything to re-introduce the romance from weekends away, to cooking romantic meals and buying her random gifts, but after the initial surprise, it feels like she just isn't interested. Please help! Reply to this Question
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reader, becky05 +, writes (18 July 2005):
It does sound like you are trying a bit hard.
If you think she has something on her mind ask her.
All relationships become 'comfortable' after a while so I wouldnt worry about this too much.
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (17 July 2005):
 There is only one thing left to do. Talk to her and ask her to be honest with how she is feeling and thinking. Ask her what she wants from the future and if she feels that the future includes you.
It sounds like you are trying very hard. Perhaps you should stop. I know that sounds a bit odd and almost like playing mind games in a way but if she is made more aware of what she could lose if she lost you, it may turn her around.
Say to her that you aren't going to keep trying if she isn't interested as there are no rewards to reap. Let her know how much you want to be with her and that you still love her (I'm assuming that you do) and see what her response is then.
Communication is very important in a relationship. Try and get yours up and running to find out, if you can, what is on her mind.
Good luck.
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