A
female
age
36-40,
*icoleray143
writes:Ok my situation is..i have came right out and told my fiance before that i want Sex more often and want it to last alot longer, but it seems like he does not care to satisfy our Sex life, this is really bothering me because i should not have to be the one to mention it again to him, i am starting to feel like i am in a Sexless relatioship which is making my sex life deppressing and making me feel like crap most of the time, i shouldnt even be ashamed to talk to him about this but the fact being that i have mentioned this once before to him i shouldnt still me having this problem, i feel like he is not stupid and he has to know that i am not happy with our Sex life, so my Q is how should i go about this situation with him??
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (9 December 2010):
 I hate to say it, but mentioning it to him once isn't enough to change an ongoing problem. It requires continual communication and mutual effort. Right now you feel like he's not pulling his own weight, but sitting back and assuming he should just KNOW what you want and do it is the surest way to make sure nothing changes. (Well, that and angrily getting in his face about it.) Sit down, talk calmly about how you feel, explain that you aren't feeling loved and that you would like to work together on this.
That said, libidos don't always match. He could have sex with you twice as often as he likes while still not being enough for your needs. For that matter, libidos don't remain constant and sometimes he'll want it several times a day, other times he'll be too stressed / tired / upset to want it even once a week. It's part of being in a relationship: Sometimes you get more sex than you can stand, sometimes you go through a dry spell.
And let's look at the reverse. When your libido drops off in a few years, and his stress fades so he wants more... how will you feel if he tells you that you don't love him enough unless he gets more sex?
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