A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My boyfriend of a year and a half seems permanently short of money, due to a lot of things including job, child maintenance, grasping ex who gave up her own job etc. I am ok for money but not by any means rich, I can afford the basics on my salary with a bit to spare. We don't live together. He mostly can't afford to pay for dinner/movie whatever so I pay, I even have paid for his phone sometimes so he can text or call while away. He's lovely company and good fun and the type of personality I can see myself marrying but I sometimes feel as if I have hired an escort and not found a boyfriend. Should I wait for his situation to turn around (he is trying but not successfully so far) or look for another guy with a nice personality who doesn't make me feel like a (young) sugar mommy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): He is feeding of you, and that's not ok. I would never have respect for someone like that. Man or woman. There are people like this who like parasites as soon as they find someone who can pay for them, get very comfortable with situation and don't try very hard to change nothing.
May be its even the reason why he is with you, because he is enabled by you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): Relationships are a two way street. He has to start taking some more financial responsibility. Take what ever job he can get his hands on. Working at what ever to start bringing money in. No more excuses. Relationships are a two way street. It is time he came up to the pump and start sharing some of the financial responsibilities of a relationship. Good-luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 May 2013):
 He may be trying, but not hard enough.
FIRST here are the DON"TS.
Don't go out for meals with him, don't pay his phone bills. Don't pay for his petrol, don't pay for his anything. Don't feed him at your house either, unless he takes a turn buying the take aways.
Now for the DO's
Do encourage him to set up a budget, there are many online that might suit. He will not get out of his financial difficulties unless he has a plan.
Do encourage him to seek financial counselling if it is available in your area.
Do encourage 'dates' that cost little to nothing, visit libraries, museums, local places of historical interest. Do try to chose places that are cheap to get to, use public transport or walk.
Do invest in a thermos flask, and make sandwiches to go.
Once he sees you are no longer the meal ticket he will (hopefully) realise what a sponge he has become and change his ways. If he doesn't change his ways then you will have a decision to make, go through life wondering if you have purchased the best model available or trade it in for something more palatable.
Good luck!
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