A
female
age
36-40,
*oc3456
writes:I was in a relationship for one year and then we broke up and we were dating for 2 years, but we were not in a relationship. for the past two years he stopped calling me less, he said he did not feel 100 percent sure about our relationship but we kept seeing each other.. During that time i found out he started talking to 2 girls at diff times.. he told me the truth when i confronted him but i lost trust in him esp when he loves to party... Recently i saw that he wrote to a girl "hey its my new dancing partner" that hurt and i met the girl before.. i was fed up that i called the girl pretending that i needed advice and i called his friend .. i felt like crap afterwards for doing that... she ended up telling him everything.. and he got mad and it was my fault for not confronting him from the beginning or being honest.. but this was my breaking point were i was tired because he never made an effort.. however i hate the fact that it ended with me walking out looking like the bad person or fake.. i feel like garbage, i lost myself in these past two years.. but i do not want him to see me in a negative way.. how can i change that? he said he still wants to be friends with me and help me through what im going through... but i feel so embarassed i dont even have the guts to say anything to him.. he seems to be moving on fine and partying.. what do i do??
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female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (11 August 2009):
you keep falling into the same ol drama why do you feel the need to keep apologizing to him. You are the only one trippen so you need to move on and do like you said you were. You need to concentrate on the future and not on the pass.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (9 August 2009):
 Do what brings you closure.
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A
female
reader, doc3456 +, writes (8 August 2009):
doc3456 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea thats what i will do is focus on me... but i am wondering if i should write him something apologizing for the mistake i did bef heading out to school or the apology that i gave him when he confronted me enough and just move on?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): you investing in him for 2 (yrs) and he cheated on you. so what if the others think lowly of you. who cares. right now it should be about you and how you are gong to move on.the thing about him being your friend- maybe not a good idea. i think that perhaps no contact with him whatsoever will be the best. in this way you can heal and learn to build yourself up again.
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A
female
reader, doc3456 +, writes (8 August 2009):
doc3456 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn the last thing i wrote, what i meant in the beginning is that i never told him that i lost trust for him, i did tell him i wont date him if his dating other girls.. at the end I always sugarcoated it saying that i did trust him. that was the wrong approach.. i guess that why i ended up looking bad... thats why i wanted to write a letter before i head back to school, should i or just move on?
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A
female
reader, doc3456 +, writes (8 August 2009):
doc3456 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, Thank you for the advise, to answer one of the questions yes i did tell that he could only date me, because if he started dating other girls i would not be a part of that... thats why i lost trust when he did that to me twice behind my back.. my mistake was that i never told him, because of the stupid fear of losing him. Im mad at myself for doing what i just did involving some girl that i rarely know and his friend girls.. but like you guys said i have to move on cuz they never gave a crap about me... You guys made me think twice about writing him something about what i did because i know what i did was wrong and i apologized to him, My jelousy and lack of trust blinded me and i did things without thinking, i know it wasnt that horrible but thats not me, i stooped to their level of gossip and so on, i was going to apologize again in the letter because i still feel low but i have to let it go... i guess apologizing once is enough.. should i not write him a letter? i def learned from this mistake and it feels weird bec this whole two years i focused on that relationship now im like i have so much free time.. but that time i will use it to regain that confidence i lost... im scared bec i dont want this to happen again but now i know how i do not want to be treated and how easily you can fall for someone and get stringed along.
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (8 August 2009):
Why do you give a rats ass what he thinks of you after he has treated you badly in the first place. Girl get a grip and move on he is a piece of crap and will continue to be he did you a favor. You are spending all your time thinking about him and wondering what he thinks of you and he has moved on to the girl enjoying his life. Why are moping around over someone that has no respect and has made it clear he doesn't care. Get a grip and move on baby girl, you will only end up making a fool out of yourself honey.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (7 August 2009):
Let him go and stop worrying about what you look like to these people. Who cares what they think?
Also, did you tell him that he could only date you when yall were "only dating but not together"?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): Do exactly the same!!!!party hard spend more time with friends meet new people and guys but remain single for the time being to find yourself again i was the same after my 4 year relationship when it was over i was thinking to myself i dont even know who i am anymore its wierd but true!
but im slowly building my confidence back and being single is FUN!!!
forget about him dont even bother being his friend now you need time away from him and itl be good for you!
He doesnt deserve to be your friend right now chatting up 2 other girls when still seeing you occasionally thats just rude!
good luck!
Be friends when you find someone new!
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