A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:You know, it really really bugs me when I see people responding saying it wasn't a gf's or a wife's place to look through her bf's or husband's email or vice-versa. Maybe some people have an understanding and are okay with things like that. I have never personally had a problem where someone has responded to me that way, but I see it an awful lot. My boyfriend and I know each other's passwords and we don't have a problem with the other one looking at email inboxes or anything else for that matter because we have nothing to hide. Why does everyone pick on this instead of the problem at hand??? I mean, surely there needn't be a 'you should not have done this!' lecture involved, right? That is between those two people. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): As I say its good that some couples have that trust, But you cant judge a situation based on what works for you some people are insecure others are not,Some people like independance, others love the feeling of being at eachothers Beckoned call all the time, but there is somthing missing with there lives, because you have to love yourself first and when you put the relationship ahead of your own personal needs it spirals out of control in my opinon, and you lose control of yourself, Im not saying I am(or people in position) are selfish but asking your partner to give up what means somthing to them (privecy) will leave them depleated if things go wrong and that relationship falls apart, And no one would want that for a person they care about would they?.Love causes pain so its ok to stay your own person a bit and not lose yourself in Love (just enjoy the ride!) emotionally speaking,
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): I'm with Irish on this. Great reply. My most serious relationship I had, we lived together and we'd always leave our emails open or our mobile phones around. There was never even a seconds thought that there would be any need to "check up" on the other person, that is what trust and love is about. I think if my then girlfriend was found by me going through my emails, I'd be more surprised than anything else. I never went though my girlfriends emails, nor her phone, but that is because I trusted her and even think about going through it. We knew everything about each other, including passwords, pin numbers. It was just a very trusting relationship and neither of us ever abused that trust.
I think getting back to the question, in a relationship based on trust you should never need to know the other partners password, because you wouldn't want to go through their emails. But it's hard to explain. Either you've been in a relationship based on trust and mutual respect and you know about sharing these details, or you haven't and don't.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): Well this is an another spin on this now, I truly believe that people in a relationship should live by there own free will and keep their private life private,
By asking people simply because they’ve CHOSE to let someone into their life does not mean they should share everything with that person
It’s a relationship not “I’ll empty the pockets of my soul for you, because I happen to be in love with you” that person who your in love with could fall out of favor the next day, by not complying to your fantasy of “we are one”
Why tie yourself down by giving up everything including your own life,
Why are there so many brake UP’s and divorces?
Not because there are cheaters, on some occasions they’re not but they want to see what’s out there, that’s natural(its human biology), as long as they don’t actually cheat that’s fine,
that’s the way its always been why do people cheat? because they get board!!
Why do they get board? Because the couple center there lives around each-other, instead of keeping there independence and enjoying every moment and hoping that they’ll be together forever taking each day as it comes, no they don’t relax they have to check each-other’s emails and look for drama,
Stressing themselves out with is he or she cheating on me?
Its not worth the stress,
Now I’m not saying that what you and your partner do is wrong do but Its not right for everyone,
All relationships are different,
And people like me are always aware that not all relationships are forever,
And know that personally I would find someone else, If Mr. Right turned out to be Mr. Wrong, In the end I would still be fine so I don’t have that jealous sense of urgency to check up on anyone,
What I’m saying may be controversial but it makes life interesting don’t you think?,
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (26 May 2007):
 I personally think that when I have a girlfriend, her online business is her online business, and mine is mine. I don't want anyone but ME looking at my e-mail. Suppose a girlfriend I have knows my password, and is sending hate mail to my friends? That's the whole reason behind not telling them. It's the same thing as checking someone's journal or phone. It's privacy, and it's not wrong to give someone that space and respect.
DV1
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): I totally agree with you, poster! It is the choice and agreement of the couple involved. In fact, I will even go further and suggest to all couples, to practice 'open, free access' to each other's activities on the computer. Why? I believe that when two people get married or commit to each in a love relationship, they do become one. They share a life, so they share 'personal space'. Doing just this, builds trust and keeps the relationship solidified. No secrets, no hidden passwords...nothing! The whole concept of a relationship is sharing all we do and have, with the other. This attitude really does build unity and respect, within a couple's relationship for each other.
I know of many couples who do know each other's passwords, they share the same e-mail addresses, (no hidden ones)and they look at each other's emails all the time..anytime. Nothing is hidden-it's a open book policy between them. Isn't that is what 'sharing' a life with a loved one is all about? These couples never, ever think about these action as an 'invasion of privacy'...never! That's totally foreign to them...lol And the common thread of these couples...they all have long lasting, long-term, quality relationships. Why...because they 'trust' each other and they both prove it everyday by allowing each other into their own lives. They both take a sincere interest in each other's lives..they both share the notes and conversations they have had with other people. Why do they do this? Because they understand when you truely love another person, you do everything to ensure that the love and trust in this relationship is secure and safe. They do believe in sharing, not living a seperate life apart from their partners. Relationships like this do last longer over the long run. Because the 'trust' is the key building block.
...............................
|
