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It bothers me that he is talking to his ex. What can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2007)
A female United States, anonymous writes:

My bf broke up with his ex about 2 years ago, but they still talk almost everyday (I check his phone, so is a fact). She dumped him after he cheated with others girls and finally with me. Well, we started to date while they were having problems in their relationship.

His break up was though, specially for me, since I had to cope with all the downs and up of a break up. However, he stills keeps contact with her and as a matter of fact I don't think she knows that we are together 'cause he has not tell her.

It really bothers me. And everytime I confront him, he says that he has no feelings for her, however recently he emailed her his address and seemed very happy about her sending him a portcard for christmas. I am tired of this.

Am I over reacting? IS it ok to keep trying to be with her after two years? I feel like breaking up with him, but I love him is not easy.

View related questions: a break, broke up, christmas, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, he never officially broke up with her...he has never talked her that he is with me. Through their break up there were a lot of exchange of emails that he does not know that I know, and I tell you he nevers mentioned me, and that he stills loves her. There was one letter on March that wrote: I still belive in my heart that we can never grow apart. I want to belive that when couples break up this is the process that they go through, and he did not had that free time 'cause he was with me.

I know that the letters are from over 8 months, and there haven't had any exchanged of emails since, but they talk on the phone, but the idea that he gave her his address makes me very furious. I am also tired of waiting quitely for him to get over her...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

You sound very insecure which is understandable as your relationship developed through lies. He cheated on his ex with you so no wonder why you'd be having trust issues. Have you heard the saying once a cheat always a cheat. What concerns me here is the fact that you say 'he cheated with other GIRLS' and then with you. Already alarms bells would be ringing he didnt cheat on one or even two but more. He sounds like the kind of guy who cannot be alone and needs to be in a relationship, no matter how short or long. Be careful girl. I agree with Rochelle in that he may be with you due to the fact that he was dumped and you were the next best thing to hang onto. I suggest you talk to him or the girl and find out the truth. You deserve to know what is going on.

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A female reader, rockelle United States +, writes (17 December 2007):

rockelle agony auntIn the first paragraph you said he broke up with her, then you say she dumped him. Which one was it? That plays a big role in the answer to your question. If she broke up with him for cheating with you he probably had no other choice but to settle for you after she left him. Maybe they are just friends and talk on the phone, thats it. But you should ask why is he keeping his relationship with you a secret? Maybe you are just afraid he will do the same thing to you that he has done to her and you are probably right. If he was being honest with her about being with you then you have nothing to worry about but it sounds like he is trying to make her think he is still available.

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