A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:Ok, so I was seeing a guy for casual sex for a few weeks, I'd mentioned it to a friend that I wasn't that into it, and was losing interest. We all went to a party I introduced my casual sex partner to my good friend. Me and my fuck buddy return home, mess around, I tell him I think its best we don't have casual sex anymore because we work together and I was worried we'd get attached and it would be messy. I leave his place.I discover two days later that within an hour of me leaving his, he went to my good friend's place and messed around with him for two days, then my casual sex buddy dumped him because he was into someone else.Now I understand casual sex means no commitments but by the same token, isn't there some kind of bro code broken here. I'd be repulsed if someone had slept with my friend then came to mine after, it just feels tasteless and like taking someone's left overs. The bigger question is here is I have no feelings for my fuck buddy, but I feel very uncomfortable with my friend's behaviour. It feels like a betrayal of sorts, and just plain unwise to plod in those murky water [my friend, a good friend at that]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): Agree completely with WiseOwlE, just want to add that same-sex sex blurs the lines when confiding in same-sex platonic friends about f-buddies and/or relationships.
If you were straight, I doubt that you would have brought a female casual sex partner to a party and introduced her to a close male friend as you would likely keep those two aspects of your life compartmentalized and separate.
In the future, best to keep casual sex casual by not overlapping short-term no-strings flings with your everyday life.
Also want to re-emphasize WOE's point that regardless of the circumstances, your friend's behavior does speak to his character (or lack thereof) and you need to decide whether to forgive and forget.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): Unfortunately, there is a lot of opportunism in the gay world.
Your friend and sex-buddy weren't really concerned about your feelings. You already said, it's all about casual sex.
Never introduce your best friend to your f-buddy. Your mistake. So take some fault for the introduction. It's too
convenient.
"Casual sex" with a "sex-buddy" has no boundaries, nor rules.
If it did, it would be a "committed relationship." You never told your sex-buddy your friend was off-limits; so he saw no reason not to go for it.
I do agree that your friend was taking advantage of the availability. I would chalk it up as one-strike. I would not make a big deal about it. If it happens again; then it can be considered a pattern. Then you can write him off as a parasite.
Chalk it up as a lesson learned. Some bro's just think with their smaller heads. That says something about his character. It's up to you, if you want to forgive and forget. Just don't go showing off your f-buddies to your gay friends. That's dangling a steak in front of a hungry pack of wolves.
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