A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well, I'm dating again after a long sabbatical, and I've found a girl I really like. However, I'm finding it hard to be affectionate. I'm worried that it may be too much to soon. After our fourth date she came over the next night to hang out. We sat and talked for a while then watched a little TV. I really wanted to grab the blanket off the back of the couch, throw it around her, and pull her close to me. She was rather affectionate towards me, like holding my hand and combing her fingers thru my hair. But, I was so worried that it would be too much too soon. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 June 2011):
 It's fine to want cuddling, although you're right to want to avoid the image of neediness. I think you're overdoing it a bit here, though.
Just take up the dominant position in the cuddle. To use the couch as an example, sit straight up as if you were by yourself (don't lean into her), but pull her in close and let her rest her head on you. Let her lean into you, and go ahead and put your arm around her. Kiss her, either on the top of her head or on her lips, then go back to watching the TV.
You can do the same anywhere - standing up, in the bed, wherever. Put your arm around her, let her lean into you rather than leaning into her. The idea is to remain nonchalant, not distant. You can be warm without being needy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011): Not at all - after all we all want a cuddle sometimes don't we. If she's holding hour hand and running her fingers through your hair it sounds like she may like a cuddle too.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (17 June 2011):
 I don't think wanting a cuddle is a sign of neediness at all. Personally, i love a guy who will sit and cuddle me to death, i'd rather spend the whole night cuddling than go see a film or go out for dinner.
In alot of ways, it is a manly instinct, you want to keep something precious to you safe and protected, so you hold it close to you.
Next time you're in that situation, where you just wanna throw the blanket round her and pull her close, just ask her if she's comfy where she is, tell her she can rest her head on your chest if she wants to move slightly, or even make the room quite cold (LOL)
Cuddling is a great thing, and i can't get enough of them, just get stuck in there next time and get a cuddle from her, i'm sure she was dying to cuddle you the whole night, but us ladies tend to wait for you guys to initiate the cuddles lol...
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