A
female
age
41-50,
*inglemom@home
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for two months, I'm a single parent of three and he's a single parent of one. He wants to move in together. Is it to soon? He says he's in love... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): It depends on the situation. I think it's best to wait just to know exactly what you're getting into.
I moved in with my boyfriend after a month and a half of dating and talking everyday. I thought we would be solid, but he changed so quickly, I soon realized how much of a stranger he was. I completely regret it and now I'm stck with the messy part of trying to leave.
Your situation may be different, but I think it's safer to wait and live separately while a few more months go by (even if it is a little financially and emotionally more inconvenient).
All the best with you decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): I am a mother of 3 and my bf has custody of his 2. We have been seeing each other at least 4-5 days a week for the past 6 weeks and included the children for the past 3 weeks. I have a good job so I am not dependent on him and vice-versa. We are both so busy that we end up just seeing each other alone after we get the kids to sleep and in the morning before we wake them up. Occasionally, like tonight, we are alone; it's like date night. We are talking about officially moving in together in the next few months; we'll have to see how it goes, but even if we do live together, we will not be spending all our time together and I will still keep my house.
I don't know how much time you have spent with your boyfriend and what your life experience is, but I believe you have to take that into account as well. Before we involved our children, we discussed the fact that it is a commitment we are making just by involving them so, if there is a problem, we are not just going to break up, we will discuss it and, if necessary, seek counseling. Even if you have known someone for a long time, things and people can change so it is not just the amount of time you know someone that should control.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): Wow, that seems shockingly too soon, but that is just my opinion. For the sake of your children you need to be very sure about this man before you commit to him in this way. In two months though, you can not possibly know this man well enough. He says he loves you - but do you really have enough history together to be sure you can love and accept each other for who you both are? Doubtful.
I don't think it could be harmful to spend more time getting to know each other - in fact, if it does, it shows the relationship wouldn't have worked any way. Sure, some people seem to don't see any great deal in moving in together so soon, but if the relationship fails you will all, including your children, end up in far more heartache than if you were more sensible early on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): It is up to you. But personally i think it is way too soon. You cannot know each other by that short time. You do have three kids of your own, don't drag them into a mess. I'm sorry to sound so negative but i did this in the past, regretted it the minute i gave my house up, but too late. I had taken my son to my partners house, bad move, my son hated it, i did, we ended up splitting up within a year of moving in. Sorry, but i think you should wait until at least one year.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): Honestly...wheather it be 1 year or 1 day, you will never gonna know the person unless you live with them. I am a single parent who just recently moved in with someone that i have friends with for a year and now we have this so called relationship....but i regret moving in with him because i feel that i more in love with him and he does not want to express his feelings for me...so where does that leave me....we sleep in the same bed and then tells me we should take it one day as it comes...so girl do whats right....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): My response is that it is far too soon. After two months of dating you are only just starting to get to know one another; you've barely scratched the surface, no matter if your bf says he's in love.
You both have to think of your children and how they are going to get along with one another in a "blended" household. What if you find it doesn't work out? Its bound to be difficult and stressful on the kids, and on you as well.
You need to think long and hard before you take such a major step. Give it more time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): no way! i say go for it
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