A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now. I'm 16 and he's 17, and have been taking it fairly slowly (this is my first serious relationship, and he respects that). However, we've recently been getting more intimate. Mind you, nothing below the belt yet, but the shirts have been off.However, he's been getting a lot of erections when we're together, even when we're just kissing. I hadnt thought much of it at first. But today he'd frequently look like something was bothering him. I asked what was wrong and he said not to worry about it, but by the end of the day I was pretty worried when he didnt eat much at dinner. (we were together all day for the past few days down the shore). I talked to him about it afterward in my room, and he said that hed been getting too many erections that day, and that the pelvic region was sore, and when he got them theyd start to go away, then things would pick back up and itd go up again (usually once or twice) before itd soften completely. He was embarrassed talking about it, so when I asked about what I was doing specifically that aroused him, so I could stop when he starts getting erect, he was hesitant so I didnt press the issue and changed to a less awkward subject for him.But I'd like to know, what signs/body language can I look for to see whats arousing him and what he simply enjoys, and/or what can I do to help? I love him, and dont want to see him in pain just because I dont know what specifically turns him on. Thanks so much for any answers.
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male
reader, tesit64  +, writes (11 July 2009):
rhythmandblues2...i guessed that u are a female reader before actually clicking on your profile to see that you where. For you ladies that do not know...IT IS TRUE!!!! He isn't lying. It hurts like a MOTHER **** when u have Erections all day. In fact, THATS the MAIN REASON why guys push for sex so much.Women are not very understanding when it gets to this topic. The main reason why guys like to just "get off" in one night stands more often then girls is because of this. It is not that we are not emotional and wouldn't like a deep, meaning full relationship. Im serious when i say this, but after some time the pressure and pain just builds up so much that we end up having to go to a club and sleeping with stranger...just to make the pressure and pain go away. This pain an pressure is the main reason why guys push for sex so much and have sex with strangers (im not saying that he is going to cheat on you btw). So yes, HE IS NOT LYING! Trust me...im a guy. Especially at that age. But, i agree with rhythmandblues2. You dont have to "help him out." Only have sex with him when you actually want to have sex with him. I mean, your 16...so you probably wouldn't even want to be having sex until maybe 2 years from now. But really, have sex with him only when u are truly ready and want to have sex with him. That way, the sex will actually be good for both of you because you are not doing it because you want to. Sex where the girl is doing it to "help the guy out" is HORRIBLE SEX. It just isn't the same type of sex as when she loves you. So yeah, if u just help him out....its gana look like your just bad in bed or something. Do things when u want to do it.As for how to not give if erections. Sorry...if your hot...u will turn him on. Im sorry...there is nothing u could do to not turn him on. This will help though. Try putting on less make up or rather no make up, cover up more, less to no eye contact, taking less showers, and brushing your teeth every other day. (those are extreme example). But, the jist of it is...if u want to turn him on less your going to have to become less feminen. That means taking care of yourself less. In that case, u will def. give him less erections but it might interfere with your relationship. and for Gosh sakes...DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE LICK A POPSICLE IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!! He might just...explode.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): First off your boyfriend is not in pain because he has too many erections, OK? He is playing a little game here to set you up for going further sexually to "help him out", see if I am not right. If he doesn't have release after an erection, the fluids are simply reabsorbed by his body or are released in a wet dream while sleeping. Most boys his age are masturbating daily, sometimes several times a day, and he probably takes care of things himself.
He is a hormonal teenager, he is going to get aroused when he kisses you, he is going to really get aroused when the shirts come off.
I hope that you wait until you are older to engage in sexual intercourse. There are many health concerns for you if you have sex at too young of an age and your young age actually puts you at higher risk for things like cervical cancer. Not to mention STD's, HIV, or an unwanted pregnancy. Talk about missing out on your teenage years.
Your boyfriend is doing just fine and you don't have to do anything to "help hin out".
Take care and enjoy kissing....but keep your pants on.
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A
male
reader, piper3 +, writes (11 July 2009):
Dear "Is this too much?"
It sounds too me like maybe the relationship is moving maybe a little too fast, I mean the kissing is ok, and maybe the shirts-off thing, but maybe it's the way you're kissing/maybe touching him. There's also the possibility that these make-out sessions are lasting a little bit too long each time and it'll keep going that way. Try going a day together just doing something fun without the kissing, I mean a few pecks are ok, but try going a day without it and see what results you get.
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