A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been hanging out with my guy friend a lot more lately, and we have become 'friends with benefits', I think, can't really think of a better term right now (I usually don't have casual sex like that so it's kind of throwing me off). Anyway, I spent the night at his house the other night, and it was the second time we had sex. The first wasn't that good, second time was really good. I think we were just nervous the first time around. After it happened, we showered together, fell asleep in each other's arms and cuddled while sleeping all night. Then I woke up at 5:45 to him kissing my neck and as it woke me up we ended up having sex again. It was very nice, but honestly that whole night left me confused. First, is it normal for a guy to do that and wake you up for sex? Second, isn't the way things went down kind of strange for FWB/booty call behavior? I've only had a handful of them, and they never went down like that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the insight, Cindy, makes a lot of sense! All of the other answers seem to make sense too
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): I was in numerous friends with benefit programs prior to meeting my girlfriend of three years. Almost all of them did not happen or turn out like yours did. I normally got told to leave at 4:30 am before any one knew I had been taken in their home through the back door or garage. Is what you have really a FWB? If it is you have done quite well. I only hope when you decide to have a one on one monogamous relationship you don't get disappointed. You might want to re consider this FWB. I believe its a lot more than just that contrary to what other counsellors say it is. Move forward....
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2013):
 When my husband and I first started out as FWB, it was more abut cuddling and kissing than sex.
yes men will wake you for sex... some will wake you WITH sex.
and men who are just FWB will cuddle and kiss... FWB does not mean get in stick it in, and get out... FWB is FRIENDS... there is kissing, and foreplay and sometimes dinner and a movie...
don't confuse good sex with a relationship.
Cindy is right... IF You want more than FWB, sit back and wait and see what happens... look at his actions outside of the bedroom...
and if you want MORE than FWB, stop having sex with him till you know that you have that, otherwise it clouds your thinking.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): I wouldnt read that much into it, but why does it so surprise you of a guy is gentle with you on bed? You probably had few very cold encounters with your occasional lovers, if you find behavour of this guy strange. This is why I ve never chosen this option to be someone FWB after only one try. And at this point I never did one night stands from that episode in a future. I was actually very upset with the guy behavour during and after sex, and told myself that I would never risk my emotional well being being with someone like this again. During sex he was very...let's call it creative. I think he learned all his moves from porn videos, and frankly I thought it was just silly.he couldn't care less about my orgazm, but wouldn't leave me alone or let me sleep for a second. I was soar in a morning. He was like a different man in a morning. He didn't even offer me tea or coffee, just woke up and started playing with his computer. He walked me to the door, thanks god for that. Then I didn't hear from him for a month. I forgot about this unfortunate event in my life, and then he calls again. Of course it was an invitation to his house. I refused telling him that I m not into booty calls. I never heard from him again.That's why in old times for hook ups like that men paid money. It was an exchange : men wanted their sex with no emotions or dates, and there were women who would provide that for money. Now situation is basically the same: men want sex and women provide it for them. The only difference is that that no one is getting paid. Women usually get nothing out of this transaction. They usaualy don't get good sex, as no one cares and takes times to satisfy her. They feel used and treated like a subject, and this is exactly what is going on. I did it once, and years after I never understood why women keep on doing it. Provide some stranger with sexual favors getting nothing in return. Not even sexual satisfaction. Not to mention the fact that it can be simply dangerous for them. Being alone with some one Who is so much physiaclly stronger than you and put yourself in a situation that he can do whatever he wants with you.
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 What Cindy said. Absolutely spot on.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 If you ask me, I'd say that what is strange is how girls your age just assume, and accept, that sex out of a relationship would also exclude authomatically any warmth, affection, tenderness,gentleness. They seem surprised, as you are, even flattered ,when there's some sort of human interaction beyond insert piece X into orifice Y.
Sad. It may be casual sex, with no special emotional attachments, but it's still sex between humans, not between beasts ( actually, even some animals sort of cuddle during coupling ).
No, at the state of the things, it just means that he is a normal guy who enjoys the warmth ,closeness and sensuality of body contact also beyond the technical duration of intercourse, and that he is not going to kick you out of his bed as soon as he's done as if you were a paid prostitute.
Anything in reference to a possible emotional attachment,
you'll have to look for in his actions OUTSIDE the bedroom.
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