A
female
age
41-50,
*azzie1
writes:I hava a boyfriend who has a short temper who I luv very much little confused, an incident occured yesterday where he got so pissed off because he wanted my son who is 13 to help him with some bags. I told him that I would take care of it and then he threw the laundry bag down the stairs saying that i am raising my kids like punk boys. My kids witnessed everything and last week he punched the bedroom door cuz I got him upset. Do u think it's worth saving this realtionship even though I know he luvs me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): loads of people lose there tempers and are able to control it why should he be any different he shouldnt be aloud to upset you or your children he needs to curb that temper its not fare on you or your children.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): I wouldn't stay in the relationship. I just got out of a relationship where it started out that he was charming and nice, then after a few months he would throw pans and hit and slam doors saying that I got him so upset. Well, after about a year it escalated to him restraining my arms because I was ripping up a picture of us when I was breaking up with him (which left bruises on my arms) and one other incident he slammed my arm in the door while I was trying to get my keys from him. Then, to top it off, he litteraly grabbed me, picked me up, and pushed me out of his RV when we got in a fight. I had had enough, and I'm telling you these things because your guy's anger could definately lead to these things, most likely they will than they won't. Don't sit around to find out. It will only get worse.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 If this is this is the only incident and you are both happy then yes, of course it's worth saving. If though, this is just one more incident in a whole line of others, then you should reconsider.
Having a short temper is not a problem. Study after study has shown that men generally respond to stress or a threat much more quickly than females do. So don't compare yourself to him, he can only be compared to other males. Instead it is the frequency of his temper that you should consider together with any incidents which result in violence. Whilst punching the bedroom door is not desirable, it might be his way of channelling his rush of emotion.
Having said all that and, what others might see as me coming to his defence, I am now going to switch views. There are some comments that do suggest cause for concern. The trigger of the laundry bags and your son suggests there is either resentment or significant difference in views on how your kids should be raised. Not a good sign. I also mentioned frequency of incident and once every week is way too much.
If he is unable to change his behaviour, and it is rare that people can, then you do have to consider the affect on your children. A man loosing his temper can be quite frightening for kids. Only you can judge. Think about it.
Take care
Richard
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 December 2007):
 First I want to begin by saying, I don't condone violence in a family or outside the family. No one has any right to inflict pain on another. I do however understand that at times stress, and other influences can alter our mood. Even with that, we choose how to handle it. Now ask yourself these few questions and you'll have your answer.
(1) Am I willing to accept aggressive behavior?
(2) Am I willing to stay in a relationship where this form of behavior (over little things) generally increases over time?
(3) Am I willing to compromise my children by being in a situation where behaviors may be learned and repeated by them?
You didn't mention how long you have been together. I'm betting not too long. I have children as well, and for their protection and a strong piece of mind, I make sure I know who I'm with, their personalities and behaviors before I introduce my children to them. My first role is to provide a safe, loving environment for my kids, and I will and choose to live my life single because I won't allow that role in my life to be compromised with personal desires.
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