A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met my girlfriend 3 years ago in college and we started living together within six months of dating. I believe we moved way too fast with this relationship and thus we didn’t get to really know each other.The result of our moving too fast is that she often threatens to leave whenever we get into a big argument unless I refuse to back down. She has gone to the point of moving back in with her parents several times, but always would come back within that week.I finally had enough of this about a month ago and found my own place, and I know she’s not happy with this arrangement. However, she’s not prepared to make any real changes, and as a result, we are now back to where we started 3 years ago, where I seldom hear from her during the week but yet we still go out on dates during the weekend.So, is this relationship salvageable, or should I just walk away? Any thoughts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mntrstina30  +, writes (2 February 2012):
 You'll find someone who will be willing to give you 100% not just 10 or what she wants,you both need to meet in the middle in a relationship,and if it doesnt happen is not worth the heartache. Good luck in the future! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had a talk with her last night, and although she didn’t come out and say it, it seems clear to me that she is unsure of what she wants in a boyfriend and that I in all likelihood come up a bit short on her checklist. That's why I ended the talk with her by saying that I need to focus on my career and that I'm also holding her back from finding someone who would be a better fit. She got the hint. I’ll never understand people who stay in a long-term relationship all-the-while remaining unsure of what they want.
So I tend to agree with everyone that this was not going to get any better. Anyway, I appreciate your advice, as it’s the same advice I’ve been getting from my gut: “time to move on.”
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 January 2012):
 The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...
if she makes no changes it won't change and it's not worth it.
if you don't hear from her, do not contact her, when she does call, don't take her calls...do not answer her texts and when you do talk to her tell her "it's over and i need to be NO CONTACT" then stick to it. DO NOT see her on weekends it feeds her belief that all is well and good on HER TERMS....
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A
female
reader, devil3996 +, writes (31 January 2012):
 I don't think that its worth it... and i don't think someone should be able to have that kind of power over you. MOVE ON
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Walk away.
Here is a link to some free information on my website about Break Ups. You might some ideas about how to handle this with her.
http://www.franktalks.com/break-ups
Too fast or not, if it didn't work out now, it is likely not going to work out later if no actually change work happens.
-Frank
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A
female
reader, mntrstina30 +, writes (30 January 2012):
Relationships are so hard...I am in one an we did move way fast ,we werent even together a month an he asked me to move in and we didnt even date..we went one one date-agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend and and then I moved in-but it was due to a situation I was in-but anyways back to you...maybe you should sit down and talk to her tell her how you feel,some girls do listen..:) I think its good that you are back to going out on dates -every relationship needs that-mine needs that right now..:( and we ve been together since september..and we need a actual sex life..sorry venting..anyways talk to her..if she doesnt want to hear what you have to say,then maybe shes not the one...
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