A
female
age
26-29,
*ellotheredarling42
writes:So me and my boyfriend have been having problems a lot lately. Last week and today we were fighting because i apparently am not nice to him, and i dont support him, and i don't love him correctly. He also won't allow me to talk to any guys besides him. He also says i beat myself up too much, but honestly i don't do that on purpose. It's just how i think i can't help thinking or worrying that i'm so terrible he's going to leave me. And all last week he made me feel that way because he just kept yelling at me and cursing at me. I honestly dont't see how i don't do any of what he says. I asked people how i treat him and they basically said he 's my top priority and he is. I don't know how to love him any other way. I tell him i love him i tell him all these amazing things i love about him, i buy him things, i make him things, i wrote songs for him, i spend at least half my free time with him. I don't know what i'm doing wrong. And for the guy thing, he honestly is a extremely jealous person. Which is very bad as i'm seeing. But he is, he's extremely jealous and assumes whenever i talk to a guy i'm automatically flirting even if i'm just asking a question. So what do you think? Is this relationship healthy? Should we break up? Am I doing something wrong or is he? Both? Thanks!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2013):
 he yells
he cusses
he won't "let" you talk to other boys
he's jealous which is NOT a sign of love but rather of insecurity on his part.
it's not a healthy relationship
and it's not love.
consider ending it.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 April 2013):
He sounds like an insecure jerk that needs a mommy not a girlfriend. A relationship at your age should be fun and carefree and this seems far from it.
While it may be difficult to break up with him, now is a good as a time as any to learn that compatibility is equally important as love. And the two of you are completely incompatible by the sounds of it.
Find yourself a guy who is everything you want AND makes you happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): I don't think this relationship is healthy. Him not letting you talk to other guys is a sign that he doesn't trust you and relationships should always be based on trust. I used to be with a guy like that and basically it was the most horrid three months of my life where he would do what your bf did. It got to the point where my self-esteem was so low I thought he was the only guy who found me attractive. But the sad truth is, being the extremely jealous guy your bf is, he is the one who needs to feel wanted. By making you fearful to prove your love to him is a really cowardly act. Please leave this relationship. Girl you deserve so much better and you are still young! Your future is still bright!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 April 2013):
 It's unhealthy. He's controlling you. It's not that he wants a break up. He's using fear to ensure your loyalty and devotion. Underneath his bullying exterior lies an insecure loser. Nothing you do would ever be enough. You should get out as soon as possible. This is not how relationships are supposed to be.
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