A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:As I venture more and more into the gay world (possibly the same in the straight world), I recognise that I have this unique skill in winning over guys and making friends easily. This gives me a great power, in that im not afraid to put myself out there. As I developed these skills in myself, I started to recognise guys who has previously rejected my advances (or at least not shown any interest previously), suddenly started trying to make contact with me. Naively I thought maybe they had changed their minds, or maybe the way I looked had matured and suddenly they were interested. Then the possibility kicked in that they saw I was involved with or made many attractive friends. I became paranoid that they were using me to get easy access to these guys. I told my trusted and dearest friends and one told me the mere suggestion that I thought one of our friends was using me was "insane". He has never been in a situation where he has been in same circle as this guy. I rejected what he said. But I noticed that the guys suddenly would reappear when there was something they wanted: my taste, my clothes, the guys around me, my opinion. I can't tell if I'm being a narcissist or if I'm totally right to be wary of why someone is around me. The particular friend I've mentioned has the friendship entirely on his terms. Am I right to keep guys I'm dating or seeing totally at arms length from him and also hanging out with him less? Part of me thinks if a guy is into you, they will ultimately get with you and if they aren't they will get with your friends. But also I believe that in those formative getting to know you time, you should get rid of all distractions and a so-called friend trying to seduce your guys or flirt is gonna make me paranoid and also the suitor will be aware that somethings up.
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female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (29 September 2016):
 You are probably giving it way too much thought and, in a way, just doubting yourself as a friend rather than doubting the friend themselves. You feel like you might not be enough to be a friend and that all the friend wants is access to other people in your life, but you might just have gained that little bit of confidence that you needed all along to pull friends in and they just want to hang out with you more as your grow. It is up to you if you keep friends and potential suitors separate from one another - if you really aren't sure about your friend still, though, then just keep the two situations apart for a moment and see if the friend sticks around. You will soon find out one way or another.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 September 2016):
 Really I think maybe they just want to be friends with you, does every male you see have to be a potential boyfriend or can you not just see them as a platonic friend? Does every male you meet have to be out to rob your friends or maybe they are just trying to make new friends? It must be exhausting overthinking these things all the time, your brain must never rest.
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