A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, So, I have been thinking. I really like this guy, and he likes me, we aren't dating, but have had sex a few times. We didn't mean to the first time, we were pretty messed up. But, we had been talking for almost a year or so about dating. He told me that we could keep this "no strings attatched" thing going on, but i dont think it is a good idea. He says he doesn't want me to get hurt, but knowing i am having sex and sharing my passion with someone who doesn't want to claim me as his girfriend is kind of disturbing to me. I'm not sure wether i should sit down and talk to him about this a few more times before giving up on this, or just go along with it, and hopefully he will catch on. Should I stay with him, or just, move on to someone who isn't afraid to say they love me?
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male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Wow....I never hear of a no-strings attached relationship with kids your age. Well to translate for you a no-strings attachment is just a sexual relationship without love involved. Could it involve love in the future? Maybe, but not likely. He doesn't see you as his love interest, but another notch on his bedpost he can keep using as long as you let him. A no-strings relationship isn't even a real relationship but pure sex. No-strings means you don't have to call each other pet names, or give each other anything for Christmas, Valentine's, or Birthdays. No-stings means you don't have to introduce each other to your parents. No-strings means you can go out with others to date and have real relationships. No-strings means you don't have to kiss but shake hands when you meet on the street. No-strings means never having to say I Love You. Ahh, but there is one good thing about no strings....the sex is free and you don't have to earn it!
My dear girl you are letting this guy use you for sex. Ultimately NO-strings means you use each other and that’s all you do. For an adult like me who has had experience and can handle that type of situation, it’s ok. But you are too young to handle this. You want commitment in a relationship and you deserve better. This guy says he doesn’t want you to get hurt, but all he is doing is hurting you. I would drop him and find a nicer guy, someone who will love you and respect you. And don't jump into bed so easy next time. Sex is a precious gift that should be shared between people who love each other.
In your future a No-strings relationship might work. TO get to that point you have to be comfortable and experienced in love and sex. In terms of your life you are just getting your feet wet.
I wish you well, and hope you make the right decision.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (30 November 2007):
Please sweetheart don't create unnecessary confusions in your head.Do you really care about yourself?If so you shouldn't be so sexually active,especially at such a tender age.
He told you that he wants a no-strings-attached thing,why do you expect more.In short you are just a friend with benefits.He's not willing to commit with you and don't be misled to think the more sex you give him the more chances of him asking you out.Tell me how would you feel if you found out he's got a girlfriend and upon questioning him,he tells you that you got no right to inquire because you are not his girlfriend?I don't think he'll catch on.He also knows that should you start going out,he's likely to want out,no wonder he tells you he doesn't want you to get hurt.Please act more sexually responsible by finding someone who loves and maybe then explore the world of sex.
All the best.
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