| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: ive been with my bf for nearly a year now. i met him on facebook and we met and spent few hours together when i was there in his country.i only treated him as friends at that time but things developed after that.we chat for hours every night,webcam and text each other everyday.and hes been calling me everyday too for the past 2 months.he said hes so in love with me and i feel the same too and he will come over and visit me in 2 months time and wants to get to know my family and friends. at the same time he got a new job which is next to my country and he wants me to move in with him. but i have one problem with him which really bothers me. i caught him lying to me once in a while. he said he doesnt chat to other women and doesnt need to chat to others but me.he even created one chat account only for him and me. but he has 2 other accounts with me on his list too. so when he logged on to other accounts,i saw him but he never admit that hes on there when its clearly hes there.his fb too,i used to see some very young and slutty girls added to his profile.when i asked him,he said he never added them and he said he might be got hacked and he deleted them after that and now i can see that not much activities on his fb.i think he might have set the privacy setting but of coz he said he doesnt use it as much now.one day after chatted to him for hours we logged off and he said hes tired and need to sleep.i went to log on to the other chat site and he was there and when i said "hi,i thought uve gone to bed" he just ignored me.when i asked him the next day,he said he left his pc on and i knew its not true bcoz his status was not idle and idle for a while and not idle again.we always argued because of this and he never admit it and said that i have trust issue and hes done nothing wrong to hurt me and i keep on looking for things thats dont exist and im pushing him away by doing that.i even asked him what does he want from this relationship so i can understand him.does he wants freedom?he went angry and said he doesnt want freedom and felt insulted with what i said and he said its so wrong to do that when in a relationship.he doesnt like me to chat to strangers online too and i deleted some guys on my profile too when he asked me to..i got no problem with that.im so confusedbecause I love him and i dont doubt that he loves me too but his lies make me sick and the thing is im not sure who hes been chatting to and how far does it go.no point of asking him as he'll never admit it and will get angry with me of not trusting him when he said millions of time hes not chatting to others.i admit that i have trust issue and ive told him that and he said he'll help me but i dont think hes helping me.these has caused me acting love him one day and hesitate the next day as im afraid.he keeps on telling me that he loves me with all his heart and all that he really wants is to be with me and live with me which is going to happen soon when he starts his new job and he begged me not to think bad things of him as hes done nthg to hurt me and be happy and in love with him as he wants our dreams to be real..i just dont know what to do..sometimes i feel like hacking his account so that i'll know the truth..is it really my trust issue or is it him? is this just because of the long distance relationship and it'll get better when we're together?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): I don't know...From what I've read he's coming across as untrustworthy, he's so defensive and quick to accuse you and all. It is hard having a long distance relationship, maybe you just aren't cut out for it. I know I'm not.
Personally I wouldn't trust the guy, but then again, he could genuinely be a friendly person just making friends, but then why does he lie to you and pretend he is sleeping or something? Good luck with whatever happens, hopefully others can provide personal experience
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