A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a guy for only a month, but I'm confused as to how it ended. Like I said, we weren't even officially boyfriend/girlfriend, but we saw each other a couple times a week and it was always great whenever we were together. Basically, me and this guy got along amazingly. We could talk for four/five hours straight and laugh the entire time. We made out in public wherever we were. He is very attracted to me and me to him. There was chemistry both personality wise and physically.The problem: neither one of us felt "Crazy in love" with each other. For me, this was fine because it had only been one month, but he broke it off with me because, in his own words, even though I was "beautiful, smart, funny, and sexy" he felt like something "intangible was missing when he was with me."I'm not left particularly brokenhearted, one month wasn't enough time for me to become emotionally invested, but I am confused as to why he would break things off when 1) we got along great and 2) he was very attracted to me.After knowing more about his prior relationships, it seems to be he is very attracted to passion/drama/lust. We did not have those qualities. I am a very grounded nondramatic person.Is this just an instance of people viewing love and relationships in a different way? I like to let feelings develop, he said he instantaneously knows if he will fall in love? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses. I just think there are many ways to fall in love. I've felt that "instantly in love" feeling, and for me, it just never works out, because it fades and then you are left with a person you just idealized without ever really knowing the person.
I guess in my heart, I know that this guy and I weren't meant to be, but it seems a shame to stop dating after a month when we were having so much fun AND very sexually attracted to each other.
I accept it, but I feel like this guy is an idiot. ;)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): You are very level headed, mature and realistic about this, and that tells me a lot about you. Well done stay level headed. My only suggestion is, you two were great company but there was a lack for him a lack of "chemistry". I know this might sound strange to you, but I have dealt with many guys, who admitted, they like the girl, and then they will go in great detail about them, but bottom line .....they feel they lack "chemistry" and for a lot of guys that is very important.
I am sure you will find the "right" guy with whom you will click and I am sure that you will also "feel" the chemistry.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (7 June 2008):
 I think a month is probably a bit too soon for some people to know but others feel if there isnt that instant feeling that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone then it will never happen.
Just move on as at least you have not been left too heartbroken, if he had continued it for 6 months and you were crazy in love with him then it would have hurt a lot more so at least he has been open with you now x
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