A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was married for nearly 10 years. My husband always seemed distant and I began to find outside interests, hobbies and friends so I could avoid spending time with my spouse. After the divorce, I met an interesting man. At the beginning of our relationship, we spent a lot of time together. I was working part time and had the luxury of accompanying him on business trips; we had lunch every day and when I got off work at 3:00 we had time to do projects together, go shopping, having drinks etc. It was great and I really felt connected to him. Over the last 6 months though I've seen a huge shift in the amount of time we have together. I now work full time, so I come home at 6:00 and he's usually busy working on projects around the house or seems distracted by a television program or his computer. I can no longer go on business trips with him and he frequently makes up reasons not to have lunch with me.Is this just a normal shift in our schedules, or is he pulling away the way I did when I was married?We still have great sex, but the rest of the time he seems distant as if his mind is somewhere else and I miss the closeness we shared before. I don't want to put pressure on him, but when I've tried talking about my feelings, he doesn't seem to want to discuss it. Should I be worried or just realize that this is how it is with most couples. Maybe I just got spoiled at the beginning of our relationship...?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 No, I don't think you're over analyzing this. Communication is the most important thing you have n a relationship. I'm sure the shifting of your schedules has caused a rift in your life together, but he has to be willing to at least talk about it. Maybe on some level he's resenting the fact that you can't come on business trips with him, so he's "getting back" at you by not lunching with you. (I don't know, it's just a theory). The fact that he won't talk about it concerns me. You have a right to know what he's feeling about you, and for him to hold those thoughts hostage is detrimental.
|
