A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I met a guy over the internet who is said to be a guy i used to go to school with his cousin. It started by me seeing the guy on my ex classmate's profile picture then i asked him to hook me up. He gave me his number then it went on from there. We started chatting on a specific messenger app, exchanging calls and stuff but he was never been serious with me.He used to tell me about his girlfriends his bad and good days. We shared our pictures about six months ago and yesterday i sent him another after he had asked. Since the past 3 months he started telling me that he loves and we started flirting but i never mentioned to him that i loved him.Ive always wanted to meet him but he was always not ready or busy. Now he told me that he really wants to meet me and make "our relationship" work. We have been chatting for a year now why now? Other thing is it took me by storm yesterday when i sent him my picture he asked me "is that you?" . I said "Ya" he said "I doNt knOw you like that?" i asked him "how do you know me?" he said " i know you fat". I couldnt believe my eyes. Its true that i lost weight over the past months but i didnt know thats how he saw me first time i sent him my pics. Is this guy a keeper or a loser? Should i continue trying to build a relationship and go on a date with him or just let him go? He is my age and we are meeting September 19. Thanx 3
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cousin, flirt, my ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2015): Wise owl is spot on- hunny why waste your time? Why not simply ignore him completely- that will send him a message that you are done. Or if you must message him, make it simple and state ' been thinking. This is the lastccontact you'll have from me, because you are actually quite vile and I can't be bothered with you anymore. Don't bother responding, I'm blocking u' then do it x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2015): You said you exchanged pictures. You know how he looks. How he has behaved and spoken to you regarding your appearance, is unacceptable. You don't need a guy like that in your presence. He doesn't have the right to see how lovely you are. He missed the boat when he called you fat, and said how smelly and such "fat" people are. You can't see how awful that is, and would want someone like that to get near you?
Absolutely not! He doesn't deserve that pleasure. You don't need to prove a thing to him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2015): I think he has said enough tacky and insulting things that he should be kicked to the curb. Why do you want him so badly? Just because you've been chatting online too long?
You'd even consider keeping him, after he has said awful things to you and even swore at your friend?
Don't let boys think you're dumb!
As usual, nice girls want absolute jerks and bad boys!
You have to learn to judge people by the way they talk to you, and by how boys treat you. Don't let liking them dismiss their bad behavior. You are enabling and encouraging him to treat you with disrespect. He is mean, insensitive, and crass. You may like him, but he doesn't seem very smart. Luckily, you've never met. Don't be flattered by his left-handed compliments!
He IS a LOSER!!! Block him and never speak to him again.
You must demand respect from boys; or they will destroy your self-esteem, and treat you like a doormat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2015): You all have a point and i am greatful for your comments. Ive been told by a lot of people (both male and female my age or not) that im so beautiful/gorgeous/cute/hot before weight lose and after. To add on that; i suggested the other day if he would like to chat with my friend. He agreed oN chatting with her but my friend was not that interested she only said "Hi luv" to him and gave me the phone. I told him my friend was busy and couldnt chat now, he said "tell her i say fuck her". I know i want to let him go but i dont want him to go and do the same thing to other girls. After i sent him my resent picture he told me that fat people stink like fat people smell terribly one of them is his neighbour. I hate to see people hurt, he is not aware that im hurt but i want him to learn something before i let him go. I wanted to meet and then tell him over our first date when he is so hopeful and excited to meet a gorgeous young woman then tell him im not interested i just wanted to see the person ive beeng texting the past year. Do you think that will help?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2015): Hello.
A whole year? And now suddenly he likes your picture because you're not fat? Hunny, go find yourself a decent guy who moves things along because he likes you enough to want to, not some shallow low life that has kept you hanging ddue to girlfriend/busy/not ready/you don't quite fit what he likes the look of in a picture but now you've shifted some weight you do....you deserve more and better hun! Xx
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 August 2015):
 "our relationship"?? What relationship? Whoa! You need to start all over on this guy. All you have is a common friend.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (18 August 2015):
 Hi,
ultimately it's up to you what you choose to do, but i would highly suggest that you do not see this guy.
The mere fact that he said, 'i know you fat', isn't very nice, regardless of the fact that he was being honest & upfront with you.
Does he know how much this comment may or may not have offended you?
The other issue i have with this comment is that, this guy sounds quite aesthetic & artificial.
He sounds to be quite hung up with your physicality, moreso than with all else about you.
He is your age & you are very young, so as guys tend to mature later than females, it may simply be that he is still immature congnitively, to some degree, however, this does not excuse his choice of words &/or behaviour.
Also, as time passes, he may say more offensive things to you, he may hurt you in various ways, with or without true intent & you'd never feel/be truly fulfilled, nor happy in his company.
I guess you must first ask yourself the question,
Do i want a long term relationship with this guy?
If so, do you think you'd be truly happy with him, especially if he were to make more rude, unecessarily called for remarks?
If you & he were to get together & begin a new relationship, i feel that he wouldn't be as committed as you, because he has already made a silly comment about the way you look.
With all due respect, what if, in 2 yrs time, you put on more weight & he began making comments regarding your weight again, or worse, he met a girl who was slimmer than yourself & he decided to go out with her instead?
If truth be known, many men/women do this, to their committed partners.
Obviously, what i am saying, are all hypothetical comments.
There is nothing wrong with you or your weight & this guy shouldn't make such comments anyway, especially if he likes you & is trying to impress you, but i am simply referring, adding more, onto what he has already said.
These are definite possibilities in the future, whichever way you look @ it.
Whatever you do, believe in yourself, regardless of what he or anybody tell you & always hold your head up high, with pride.
Be confident & don't allow negative, ignorant comments to offend you in any way, but you should also avoid toxic energy, negative people & shallow people.
All the best let me know how you get on! :-)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 August 2015):
 ANYONE who says they love you having NOT Met you is not someone who understands love.
I would meet him. IN public. and gradually get to know him.
IF it's been over a year and it's taken this long to set up a meeting then he's not really all that interested.
whatever you do, do NOT sleep with him.
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