A
male
age
30-35,
*oneymaker
writes:Hi all,OK so last week I started talking to a girl who goes to my college and lives near me, on Myspace. We exchanged screenames and chatted on AIM several times. I felt like we hit it off very well, our conversations went both ways, she was giving me long answers to my questions, and we seemed to have just about everything in common. I also made it clear that I'm a nice guy in the gentleman, polite sense, not the pushover, wussy, needy guy sense. The last time we talked was thursday night, and at the end of that conversation I said "we have so much in common", and she said "yea, i really like talking to you, you're nice and very easy to talk to." II had planned to ask her for her cell this week, so we could set up a lunch date or something. But after our conversation on Thursday night, I stopped talking to her for a few days because I didn't want to seem too needy, and plus I was very busy. Then, last night, I IM'ed her around 8 pm, and received no response, although AIM said she was available. About an hour later, she put up a "BRB" away message. She doesn't put up away messages all that often. Around 11, her away message was down, and I tried again, but she didn't respond. After waiting a bit, I went to bed. This morning, I saw that she had updated her Myspace status a few times, saying how she didn't get any sleep last night and stuff. On the other hand, I know she is very busy, working a part time job and taking summer college classes. So she might not have had time to talk to me because she was doing something.I am trying to figure out what is going on. I am well aware that it's a possibility, but I kind of doubt she is ignoring me or trying to reject me, after she said how much she enjoyed talking to me. And it would take alot to change her feelings in only a couple of days. Or I have heard about women trying to "test" men, and playing hard to get in these types of situations, just to see how needy they become. Or maybe she didn't get my messages or something, my internet connection isn't the greatest. Sorry for the long question, but just trying to figure things out.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Seriously, I think you are (or are in danger of) reading too much into "BRB" and all the typical chat lingo. Send her a message via email and see what happens with that. If you get a reply, great! ...if it takes a few days, cool... if you don't get a reply, mark off your conversation as a nice hour (or whatever) of your life and move on. I guess the major point of this is that you should not read too much into electronic communication... a whole host of real-world and cyber-world problems could be in her corner right now... guessing and wondering is only going to leave you confused and frazzled.
So, if you haven't sent her a friendly email like "I missed speaking with you... hope you're well... send me an email sometime if you'd like to do it again..." ...then leave it at that.
A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Maybe you not wanting to seem needy has lead her to believe you were avoiding her. Ive had a relationship via the internet before and he used to not come online for like four days and id be sat at home wondering what the hell i'd done. Thats the problem with internet flings, it doesnt work all that well. If she was busy it doesnt explain why she was on myspace changing her status. Shes clearly hacked off for some reason, or maybe has found someone else and doesnt know how to break it to you. Im not sure, but obsessing over this girl isnt the answer. Ask her what you have done and if she still doesnt reply, take the hint and move on. Good luck!
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