A
female
age
41-50,
*ictoria Aubrey
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been seperated from my husband for 13 months(pending divorce).8 months ago I was sent to a nearby and familiar city for a 2 week training program. I lost weight, chopped my hair, and bought a new wardrobe. I was looking and feeling great! The top manager started flirting with me a lot and asked if I was going back home for the weekend(I did). The following Tuesday he slipped me his number. I called and left him a voicemail wondering what was up?He didn't call me back? He started texting: Wondering what I was up to and then asked if he could drop by my room. I had a few drinks before he came over. He told me how hot everyone thought I was and explained exactly what I wore the first day. He asked me if I wanted to kiss him so I did. Then he told me he had a girlfriend?! I wanted to have sex with him and I did and it was AMAZING! The best I had ever had!!!! Thought it would be a one night stand? I was leaving and he had a girlfriend. No big deal. Right?He kept texting me the next day and even after I went back home. I told him that I did not want to be the other woman or a mistake. I deserve better and he kept texting, sometimes calling? I wouldn't text him for days be short with him and he kept on with it!?I went out there for more training a month later and he was bugging me at work and getting all red in the face. He asked me if I was uncomfortable? I told him no and that what happened between us was just, "whatever" and that it would not happen again. He asked why? OMG! I told him because of our situations and that we live in different cities. He said that he wanted it to and that he really liked me. Then a month later he finally mentioned that he no longer had a girlfriend?So here's the thing. Definately chemistry between us. He comes onto me very strong and will be vulnerable and sweet but then retract? We've only seen eachother about once a month and mainly due to work. He's broke for the next year due to his divorce and 2 young kids. Says he's not ready for a relationship. I'm not either. He knows I'm moving out there next season(not for him though). I haven't been the nicest to him I called him an ahole once and have several times told him to stop contacting me, it would never work out. He would last all of 3 days before he would be texting me again. I don't know if this guy is for real? I mean we slept together that one time 8 months ago! Since then all we have done is chatted via text a phone call here or there. He caught me at a gas station a couple of weeks ago and talked to me and kissed me. but that's it. No luncheons, no plans, no dinner, no movie...no nothing? I told him he needs to take me out on a date! He said he wants to after the Holidays when he has more money. Why? He said that he wants to start things the right way and that once we start we won't stop? I don't know if I should believe him or just stop talking to him. I'm open to seeing other people so I know it's not a huge problem but what do you think people? IS THIS GUY FOR REAL?
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Yes, he's for real. A real heartbreaker. You are right to continue to tell him "NO." The other poster is right, a date doesn't need to cost a lot of money. He has the HOTS for you. He doesn't know you like he should know you because he hasn't taken the time to "talk" to you. I think you should date other guys who treat you with respect and not like a body who can give them something.
If he's hell bent on "dating" you then tell him to call you when he is prepared to do that and remind him that you will not be having sex for the first few dates.
For you, he was a fling. If you wanted to start dating him, you need to start all over.
Personally, I think I'd just move on.
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