A
female
age
30-35,
*ysterium
writes:Hi all!Some thoughts and advice would be much appreciated!I am an artist and have struggled for a while to display my work in public or to even let anyone, including close friends, know that I am an artist. I don't know why though. Anyway I finally got my work out and people seemed to like it alot. But strangely my friends whose opinion matters to me- good or bad regardless, refrained to comment on it. I don't know if this is imaginary but I feel with some of my friends a competition which keeps coming in bouts and I don't like it at all. I feel it because some friends make it very obvious and it's not that we arnt good friends or competition is unhealthy, it's just it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't compete because after much struggle I have reached a space where I have started to believe in myself but I often get this vibe and some even voice the fact that they can't believe that I made a certain art piece. As a result, I completely cut off from all friends and like to be in solitude for a month or so till this insecurity escapes my mind. This happens everytime I create a new artwork. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the whole world is conspiring against me. It's just more than often I have experienced this feeling and I don't know if to ignore it or acknowledge it. I don't know. But it makes me mad uncomfortable and I hate to think there is someone out there who is jealous of me or just doesn't like me. Constructive criticism not included. I take criticism very seriously and if someone criticises me It only means that they have taken trouble to analyse me a a person or my work. Because this feeling is persistent it bothers me a lot. Should even consider it or ignore it? Help! Thanks in advance!
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (10 May 2014):
 Maybe you take any criticism, no matter how kindly or constructively meant, badly and are too sensitive?
As an artist you need a very thick skin. Art is a very ambiguous thing. Not everyone "gets" a particular piece. Some types of art are very abstract and therefore mean different things to different people and some, non artsy people, wont get the meaning or concept. To some people an unmade bed is art or a bag of rubbish, others see that as a piss take. Maybe your friends are just on a different wavelength to you art wise.
A friend of mine is a comedian and has to trial new jokes and funny stories to a few audiences to see what works and what doesn't. I found it excruciating to hear silences where there should be laughs but its the only way to test what's good and what isn't. My friend had developed a thick skin to deal with that as its the only way to make it work.
Cutting yourself off from people and living in solitude for months at a time is a fast ticket to the funny farm. You seem to suggest that you take criticism of your WORK as a criticism of YOU as a PERSON. When i'm sure that is not the case.
If your friends are also Artists then rivalry is to be expected if you are achieving recognition. If they are not in any way artists they may refrain from commenting because they don't understand the piece you have produced and are scared of looking foolish for not seeing the true meaning.
Your friends are possibly not the people to ask for approval on these matters. I don't like tattoos. Hate them to be honest. My personal choice. My close friend has LOTS of tattoos. That's His choice. He knows not to ask for an opinion on his tattoos from me because he doesn't want to put me in a position of saying "Great love that new, huge tattoo!" when we both know I don't.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2014): Recently, I have started to show my artwork later in life. I kept my artwork tucked away in a closet for years.
Art is subjective to many people. Also, if you do portraits or abstract, whatever area of the arts you are in, some people will love your work and others will not. Art is a personal choice for many.
Don't depend too heavily on what your friends opinions are. Concentrate on getting a body of work out there.
Briefly, I went to art school and we got criticized brutally. It was to prepare us for real life.
Recently, I entered an art show and thought for sure one of my works would get recognized and it got completely overlooked. Of course, it bothered me a great deal, because other people really loved the work.
Also, as I work on a piece I start to get sick to my stomach and anxious--something I never experienced before--yet people love the end result when maybe I didn't like the piece at all.
We, as artists work in isolation so much, so when that day comes to show our work it is hard if we get rejected by the public in some manner or any of our friends.
Artist's are sensitive souls to begin with.
It is the public opinions of your work that count the most and not your friends. Friends cannot always be objective or maybe they truly don't want to hurt your feelings if they don't like a piece. It comes with the territory of being an artist.
Keep doing what you love and striving to be the best you can be.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2014):
 If that is how you feel about your friends, maybe keep your art-life and your social life apart.
Maybe they didn't want to offend by giving "bad criticism" or they don't know HOW to support you and your endeavor. Or they might not know how to deal with being jealous with how you are going about trying to become an artist. They might want to do the same but don't have the talent and/or the initiative. IT doesn't mean they make really bad friends.
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