A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone! i need some advice please.before i started going with my current fiance i was engaged to a guy who i was with for just over 3yrs. The reason we split was bcuz he was violent towards me. my current fiance is great although he's 19yrs older than me he's 44 and im 26, we got engaged 2yrs ago and he said we would be getting married this year, so last september i went and bought my wedding dress and was really excited at the thought of the idea of becoming a bride but for some reason my fiance has changed his mind and is making excuses not to get married so i just asked him out right do you not want to marry me and his answer was as good as no, i just dont know what has changed bcuz he hasnt changed personality ways and always tells me that he loves me but he has crushed my dream of becoming a bride and now i think im wasting my time with him. however i came down to my mums house last sunday and my brother was there, he had found a phone the night before that just so happened to belong to my ex fiance so i had to phone my exes dad and arrange for the phone to be picked up but my ex used his friends phone to ring his phone and he got the shock of his life when i answered it. so he came to my mums to pick his phone up and we sat talking for an hour, he was hugging me and said that it was fate that my brother found his phone and he apologised for all the bad things that he done to me in the past and he said that we should stay in touch but i was a bit weary bcuz i dont want to hurt my current fiance but as me and my ex were sayin goodbye to each other the chemistry between us was really strong and i realised that i still love him even after 6yrs of being apart he went to kiss me but i pulled away and now i regret not kissing him,this all happened before my current fiance told me he didnt want to marry me. i didnt get my exes number but i ended up texting his dad and asked him could he forward it to me bcuz everyone keeps telling me it was fate that my brother found that phone.does anyone else think it was fate? please help thankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno i dont know the reason why he said no then i was thinking maybe he just doesnt want to get married again as he was married before and has 3 kids but im getting to a stage in my life where my biological clock is starting to tick and i want to settle down.
yeah i was thinking about the violent part aswell but i feel that im much stronger now and know what to look out for bcuz when me and my ex first got together i was only 16 and he was 19 and i was very naive
i really appreciate your advice thankyou so much for taking the time to write to me
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Well the fact he was violent towards you worries me but apart from that yeah if you feel for this guy then dump the current guy.however do you know the reasons behind him saying no? is he not ready to get married yet? if so then id give him a chance if you love him.if not then dont continue with the relationship and get back with the guy you do actually love.
however the violent part worries me a lot.so id think about that part a lot before you make any decisions.
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