A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[MODERATOR NOTE: Location specifics have been removed. Otherwise the post remains true.]I know this i quite long but I really need your help and I don't know who else to ask!My boyfriend and I have been going out for 6 months and they have been the best 6 months ever! The only problem is I have recently started Uni in the last month and a half in Cardiff and my boyfriend has been in Swansea Uni for nearly 2 years. It seems like my boyfriend is being really overly possesive, well not possessive but he wants to see me every weekend and although I really want to see him too, I also need my space just to go out and be with my friends and have fun. On some nights out I have gotten quite drunk and have had some photos taken with my friends (who include a few guys) that my boyfriend thinks are quite provocative. Also, next year I am planning on moving in with my friends for my second year of Uni, and my boyfriend doesn't like it! He wants me to live with him or for him to move in with me and my friends but the other 7 people I'm moving in with next year said no. Understandably, 9 people is too many for 1 house, the bills would go up and they don't really want to live with a couple living in the same house in case anything goes wrong. Also, if I move in with my boyfriend and things go wrong, what happens to me? And even i they stay ok, he is only doing a year in industry for Uni in Cardiff and then going back to Swansea, so what am I suupposed to do living wise after the second year?Now, when we went out for a major pub crawl back in October, my boyfriend got incredibly drunk and I had to leave early to look after him. There was another pub crawl yesterday and he got quite drunk again, even though he said he wasn't, and started having a go at me, he got thrown out of a club (even though he said it wasn'y his fault and I don't think it was) and he also had a go at my friend. When he apologised and I forgave him, he quickly went back to how he was before and started being off with me again for no reason.When we woke up this morning, he had to go home on the bus to Swansea, he said he was sorry but couldn't see why I was that angry and when I told him I could be angry for a week is he carried on pushing me, he said that I was his only reason to live, that he hates being on this earth and the only reason that he hasn't killed himself is that he is with me...and he said if I ever broke up with him that I should keep an eye on the recently deceased section of the paper because it wouldn't be long before he killed himself as I'm his only reason to keep living.I know this is really long but I really need your help! I don't know what to do! I love him too much to break up with him but I can't deal with the possessiveness and agression when he is drunk and I don't want to feel pressured into staying in this relationship incase he does the unimaginable...I don't want to leave hium but I don't want to feel like I don't have a choice. PLEASE HELP ME!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): No, it's not the frequency of the statement but the fact that he made it. "Gerta" has it right and I still think that you need to leave such a manipulative and demanding person - how will things be in a year from now, let alone further down the line, should you marry?Look at your age - you have plenty of options besides him, so don't ruin your best years on such a no-hoper.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has only ever mentioned the suicide thing once and that was this morning before he left to go home. Do your comments still remian the same or will they differ because he has only said it once???
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Those tht shout the loudest about suicide are the least likely to do it; he is just making your life a misery and would never act in that way if he truly loved you.
Leave.
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