A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I having an emotional text affair? I recently got into contact with an old friend and what started out as brief text exchanges had become a daily texting affair for almost 2 months. I enjoy texting him and look forward to his texts. He tells me good morning and night everyday and he has become the person I text when I am upset or happy. But all this while I have a bf, albeit our relationship has been fraught with arguments because of his close friend who has told him she thinks he should be with her. He didn't say much about this after she told him this. Friends have been telling me to leave him as well. I feel terrible,like I am looking for someone else to fill an emotional void when my relationship is going bad. My old friend knows I am having relationship troubles but we have never gone out alone or as a group since we started texting. Everything is solely texting. If I am having an emotional text affair, what should I do to stop? Should I tell my bf?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014): You have to show some maturity. If your relationship is wrought with arguments and fights; it has runs its course.
It's time to get away from each other; not turn to other people while you maintain a tumultuous relationship that isn't going anywhere.
What's there to tell your boyfriend? I'm text-cheating on you, because we fight? Don't get so carried away emotionally by text messages. People have to exchange feelings person to person. Anyone can sit-down and text lovey-dovey childish nonsense to each other. Adults express their feelings openly to each other. You're just doing it to spite your boyfriend; while leading the other guy on.
Yes you're leading him on. If you weren't, you'd breakup with your boyfriend. Allow yourself time to get over it; then you'd start dating when you're emotionally over your broken relationship. Avoiding rebound relationships like a dreaded disease.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014): I don't know the nature of your texts, but in almost all instances the reason that a man would court a woman is to get her. So whatever you are revealing to the other guy, he has read it as a way to get you to be his and is courting you via texts until a moment he can ask you out. Every statistic shows that very few men are interested in endless and pointless texting that has no objectives. In other words, nearly all things men say and do, unlike women, is because they want some things done. Just look at you bf: how long ago did he stop texting you. Having said that, what you are doing, assuming absence of sex and sexting, is a compensatory emotional affair by using that guy to charge you emotionally the way you wish your bf would. If there are elements of sex and fluting then this definitively is an emotional affair. Chances are super high that you texting guy's intensity with you will totally stop once you go with him. So you have three ways here: leave your bf if he is no good, go with your texting guy or drop both of them and stay single for some time to clear out yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014): I often wonder is it really an affair if it is just texts/messages..?
However, in your case you do know the guy.
I have got really involved with a guy I never met - but we just message each other each day & when he spends time with other women I even feel jealous even though we are both single!!
You know the guy - so just consider - is it just the attention or do you actually want something more?
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