A
female
age
30-35,
*arkRhythm
writes:I have been in a relationship with a guy who lives an hour away for almost 4 months now..and for the last month or so we have been getting in fights every week. sometimes a couple times a week. The main problem is that I have had trust issues from the very beginning, and they are still there. I still have problems trusting him, and when we fight we mostly fight because I'm worried he doesn't want to see me, or lately because he's been talking to other girls and hanging out with them. He tells me when he does and what he does with them when i ask, but he hates it when I ask cuz he wants me to "just trust" him. I told him I was fine with it..but he hung out with this one girl a few days ago that he met on facebook. He has been asking to for weeks and I finally gave in and said he could. But afterwords, he said he bought her dinner and met her parents at her house. Everyone keeps telling me he might be setting up a "plan b" before he breaks up with me, or just in case I break up with him. I want to trust him..but I don't know if I should. He knows I don't like him hanging out with girls, but he does it anyway cuz he says i hang out with guys. and i hang out with one guy who I have known for years. only see him maybe 15 min. every week or so. I even asked him point blank when I said he could hang out with that girl not to buy her dinner, and he did anyway. I'm just lost, idk what do do because I love him so much I can't let him go. even though I know that is pretty crazy after just 4 months..but my question is, is this something I should just accept and trust that he is just friends with her?? Has anyone else had this problem??
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female
reader, DarkRhythm +, writes (13 December 2012):
DarkRhythm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone
A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Yeah he seriously took another woman out on a date. He then got angry at you because you don't want him doing that, most women don't want their boyfriends going on dates with other women and he knows it... He is definitely setting up a plan b. And he is guilting you into letting him go on dates with other females by saying you don't trust him. He says 'I know how relationships like this end up...' vague threats to scare you into letting him do whatever he wants because he knows you don't want him to leave you. Someone in love doesn't try so damn hard to meet up with a chick from Facebook. They weren't long time friends, they had never even met. He shouldn't have an interest in seeing her when he's got you. He went on a date and it's as simple as that. You say you will go crazy without him, you will be fine. And you will have to be fine because unless you want to stay with a cheater this relationship will never last long term. He's looking for your replacement or for you to be his side fling right now.
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A
female
reader, DarkRhythm +, writes (10 December 2012):
DarkRhythm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd he's known this girl on facebook for a while and texted her before we met..but he'd never actually met her before. When I accused him of taking her on a date he got an attitude and said he guesses he's taken lots of people on dates because he's just friendly and doesn't like to make people pay for things if he can pay instead.
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A
female
reader, DarkRhythm +, writes (10 December 2012):
DarkRhythm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice..I told him today to not see her again. He said he won't, but now he has an attitude about it and he's barely talking to me at all. I said that when someone is in a relationship and they start hanging out with someone else of the opposite sex..it never ends well. and "I've seen where it leads to too many times". He just said "And I've seen where relationships like these end up going too many times." But yet he still says he loves me and wants this to work out. He has pretty much been honest about everything up to this point..and when I'm with him everything is perfect. He's still sweet and sometimes goes out of his way for me. I just don't know what to do, but I can't even stand the thought of being without him. Even though I know it's crazy.
And about the guy I hang out with, no we have never been interested in each other. He's with another girl and when we are hanging out I normally just talk about my bf and he talks about his girl. And I told my bf that I will stop hanging out with this guy, and not hang out with any guys besides him. He just said he doesn't care if I do or don't. He doesn't care who I hang out with or what I do with them. I'm just afraid this is pretty much already over for him and I'm afraid he's going to see that girl behind my back now since I told him not to. Idk, I really love him and would do anything to make this work....I'm just not sure what I can do. I don't feel like I can keep going if I don't have him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 December 2012):
 I agree with YOUWISH... he's on facebook meeting girls
taking them out to dinner and being taken home to meet mommy and daddy...
and he says "trust me" I NEVER trust a man who says "Trust me"
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2012):
 No guy who is in a relationship should ever find a girl on Facebook, take her out to dinner, and meet her parents. Seriously? Just trust a guy? No way! That is inappropriate no matter what! Doesn't matter if they had sex or not. No man in a relationship buys another girl dinner unless that girl is either his mother, his grandma, his sister, or his daughter. End of story.
And what about you? Who is this guy you've hung out with for years? Did you two used to be romantically involved in any way, or did you ever have feelings for him in the past or vice versa? If there were ever any feelings there, then you and this other guy shouldn't be hanging out if you're in a relationship with another guy.
Both of you aren't ready for a relationship. This guy has no business taking other women out when he's with you, and you have no business spending time with other guys one on one.
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