A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think i may be in love/lust with my dead best friends husband. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me. When i was 18 i was engaged to "Matt" he was killed in a car wreck 3 months before we where to get married. Afterwards his step-brother "Kevin" and i had somewhat of an affair. We never had sex but attempted to a few times and a few other physical acts where played out this went on for about 2 months. Last year my best friend "Lacy" of 15 years died unexpectedly. Shortly after i began to develop feelings for her husband. I never said anything to him because i figured the feelings would go away but they haven't and recently he expressed he has had the same feelings for me. I'm not sure how long tho. I did admit that i do have feelings for him. I'm just not sure if we should proceed. I know if we did i would lose a few friends ( honestly none that really matter) and I'm not sure of "lacey's" family would take the news. Is this even appropriate? Or am i just a death vixen? Is this even normal like a part of my healing process? Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 December 2010):
 I really don't know how to answer this question. My initial feeling is that [what if] your feelings for her husband are a way for you too keep hold of her. What I would do is search deep within yourself to see what, if anything, you felt for him while she was alive. I don't know if this is part of the grieving process, but I can see where it is a possibility. I don't know you or the other people to be able to give you more of a definite answer.
Take care.
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