A
male
age
30-35,
*teaknife
writes:About August of last year I developed a crush on a friend in one of my classes. I've kept it quiet. January of this year she asked me if I liked her. I replied that I did. She informed me that she didn't feel the same way and wanted to continue being friends. Fast-forward to today. I still have feelings for her. They haven't slowed down or weakened. When I think of her, or see her my heart races. I'm thinking about writing a letter explaining this and also explaining that in order to being honest with myself and to her, that I will have to break contact with her for awhile until my heart forgets about those feelings so that I can actually BE a friend to her. I would like to ask. Is this a foolish thing to do, appropriate, selfish or what? Please voice your thoughts because right now my mind is going crazy and I can not sort this out. It hurts me to think of this, but I feel that it is necessary.
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male
reader, natedawg61 +, writes (16 December 2008):
well if she doesn't like you trie to get her to with out her knowing your trying to impress her also trie to not think about her whilenear her listen but focus on something else like your big toealso try to make them luagh i made my gf laugh so much she had to sit down to breath also don't be serious act like your a little more immature than you are and be social first week my gf was mad because i didn't talk to her much
A
female
reader, natnatxxx  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Spilling out all your feelings onto paper may not be the best choice to do. People can get very scared off by strong feelings, espcially if they dont feel the same way. Sometimes abit of space can do the world of good, but i wouldnt let her no that its because you stil have deep feelings for her. Just keep yourself busy, and let her no your still her friend, but need time to yourself for a while for general reasons like 'time with the lads' 'family stuff' or 'football?'. This saves any pouring out speeches of how much you like her, and you need the space to get over her. Of course distancing yourself from her will be really tough, but if your definetley wanting to do it, my advice do it slowly and descretly.xxx
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A
female
reader, SDJ +, writes (15 December 2008):
 I personally don't think this is selfish, she should understand if she values your friendship a lot. A friend who liked me for a while stopped talking to me for a while because he said he needed some time and we've recently started talking again and we're still really good friends, the only difference is he doesn't have any feelings for me. I think this method really works, only if you aren't thinking about her all the time you aren't seeing her. You should occupy yourself doing something to keep your mind of her in the meanwhile.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Youve already discussed this out in the open with her. She knows your feelings and still you are friends. It might scare her away if you start telling her again how you feel, she knows already from previous. If you really feel happier about being away from her then that's what you have to do. Otherwise she may feel 'hounded'. I think if she really did want to be your girlfriend she would have made a move by now because you have already talked about it before. I think you should just accept that 'friendship' is all you will have and is that such a bad thing, friends sometimes get on better than lover relationships. Go and have fun, then she will see another side to you. Girls like someone who makes them laugh. hope this helps.
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