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male
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*lipdrew
writes: Ok, I know have known this girl since as long as I can remember. We grew up in the same church. Anyway, we hung out on occasion, but never that much until I joined the Marines. Then it seemes like every time I would come home on leave, we would hang out. I never expressed any intrest, even though it was always in the back of my mind. She wrote me all the time when I was in Iraq. (One of the few besides my mom, of course) I got out of the Marines a year ago and I got a job as a plant manager for a berry receiving station. She had the same job in another city and we had to talk on the phone 5 or 6 times a day to make sure paperwork and orders were in sync. I started to really like her. I told her that if she weren't going out of state for college, I would date her in a heart beat. Her reply was that she would be back for Christmas and it became a half joke that she would be my "Christmas Girlfriend". True to her word, she came home for Christmas and we hung out a lot. When she went back, the relationship ended mutually and she told me that she didn't want a serious relatioship right now. Fair enough, right? At least she was honest and didn't string me along. We still talk almost daily, but I try to tone down how much I care about her out of respect for her and her decision not to want a serious relationship. Enough background. My question is this: I really care about her and her rejection seems only to intensify my feelings for her. Am I just wanting what I can't have? Is this more of a creepy infatuation with her than authentic feelings? Is it worth it for me to hold onto these feelings in the hopes that she will want a serious relationship with me in the future? Am I just being creepy? (I really don't want to be THAT guy) We both have about 2 years left of college (she's now 20 and I'm 22) and neither one of us knows what we're going to do after college. Am I just wasting what is supposed to be the best years of my life by dwelling on this girl? I'm new to this whole "feelings and emotions" thing and I'm not sure I like it. This is the first girl that I have gotten this attached to. (seriously, I don't get attached easily) Help me out here.
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reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (15 January 2006):
 Flipdrew, it's never easy in a long distance relationship no matter what the circumstances are. Is it possible for you to just be patient and have a good time with her whenever you can? I know that I would try to just remain friends with her and wait it out. I've been friends with some that I waited for and at least I can say the friendship has been great. If the right one presents herself before something takes off with this girl, I think I would persue that aspect more. It's not easy because your dwelling in love and too a degree you said it best. You are persuing something you can not have; right now. Maybe in 2 years or however long, you two will definately change your minds. She is only 20 and you don't know what you want either, In two more years you two may want marraige and kids. For now just be loving and kind when she comes around, and definately find a path that your looking for until that time.
Good luck,
Ed
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