A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:how do you know is someone is the one?i have just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 an a half years.. we have broke up once before but i know now i dnt want to get back with him beacuse he is an ex for a reason now! but all my friend keep saying "oh i thought he was the one for you! never would of thought you 2 would break up" And now im confused.. beacuse at the time i thouoght he was but if we arent together anymore we cant be can we??is there such thing as the "one" or is it just a stupid thing people want to believe? thank you[Mod note; OPs title already used: "how do you know if someone is the one ?"]
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): This is a question that shouldn't be 'questioned'. We all simply just have different opinions on it.
Some believe you can only love ONCE in a life time, others believe you can several. As the same with your question, some believe it's just a 'myth', where as others truly, believe with all their hearts there's someone COMPLETELY compatible with them known as 'the one'. Also commonly known as 'the love of their life', true love', etc.
In my opinion, I DO believe there's ALWAYS going to be someone in your life time you trusted, were able to always turn to and loved the most. As soppy as it may sound to some, but I do believe in 'true love'. Loving someone, like you did your boyfriend, is different to true love. You can always love someone and leave them, where as 'true' love, lasts a life time. Your feelings for one another never dies.
This is just my opinion, everybody feels different on the matter. So you'll have to decide for yourself I'm afraid. Normally people only believe when it's happened to them personally.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 No, it is a myth. There are likely several highly compatible people for you. Hopefully more compatible than the last. Part of the problem with the "the one" myth is the idea that all you have to do is find that magical person and you will live happily ever after. When you think about it you will realize that happily ever after means working on the relationship every day forever after.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (2 September 2010):
People on the outside of a relationship who are your friends and love you must've seen some good things in your relationship with this guy, and are mourning with you its loss! But only you (and he) can know if you were right for each other. You can search your whole life for the perfect one, and wind up alone, whereas some folks have a few good relationships and then, when they feel ready for marriage, somehow stumble into it, and don't believe they aren't afraid! But I do believe there is some one for everyone, but sometimes it takes awhile to find that person. For some people, more than one person may be "the one." Another person may feel that one particular person answers all their prayers and was made for them. Love is different for everyone, and mysterious, too! I hope that you have wonderful luck in love!
...............................
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (2 September 2010):
If there were only one "one," then what if that person happened to live on the other side of the planet? You'd be destined to live alone forever, wouldn't you? Saying there is one person you are destined to be with reeks of God arranging the details of your life, in which case why even get out of bed in the morning if everything is preordained? I think that people generally seem to find someone eventually. Sometimes the relationship is awesome and sometimes it's just good enough. If you'd never met your ex-boyfriend, you probably would have met someone else by now, or even several more people. We're always looking to meet people, we're always looking to have love in our lives, and for most people, that eventually happens.If people mean "the one" as in, "the person you'll marry and have kids with and possibly be happy forever with," then yeah, most people have a "one." But if people mean "the one" as in your one and only soulmate on the planet whom you were always fated to meet, that's just childish nonsense.
...............................
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Ahh.. one of life's many unanswered questions. How do we know if someone is "the one" or even if "the one" exists at all. Some people believe there's one person out there for everyone. Other people believe there are many people out there perfect for everybody. It's something unfortunately we can't confirm or deny because it can't be proven (or disproved).
I think you should focus on who makes you happy. Think about "the one" later on in the relationship. You guys broke up for a reason, your friends probably only saw the good bits of your relationship, they didn't see when you may have been fighting or the unhappy times you had that led to the break-up. If you find someone who understands you, makes you happy, and respects you. Does it matter if there's someone else out there who can offer you the same, if you've already got one right there? I think you know you've found someone perfect for you when you enjoy life with them, and it never crosses your mind that you'd ever break-up or end up with someone else. Where you think about maybe marriage/kids and it's exciting and something you sometimes find yourself thinking about. Just be happy in life, don't worry about whether your ex was the only guy who could make you happy, because there are other guys who can make you smile. If you end a relationship and think "oh crap, was he the one?", you shouldn't have had to lose him for the thought to cross your mind, right? That just says to me you didn't even consider he might be, because you only realised he could be when you lost him, and even now with the benefit of hindsight you're unsure.
Move on and find someone who makes you happy! xxx
...............................
|
