A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMe and my bf are together for an year. We are happy together, but i always feel like whenever he talks to me in a really emotional connected way, the next 2-3 days he'll try to avoid me as if he wants to undo the connection we felt for each other or not to be emotionally attached to me. I tried talking to him about this few times and he always brushes it off as if its nothing and im imagining things. I am not sure whether this means something is wrong in the relationship or with him or me.Please help me. Thanks a lot for reading Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 January 2011):
 Just an educated guess, but when he opens up, he gets afraid that you won't see him as a man anymore, so he distances himself to reclaim that "manhood" he lost.
Many men are taught from an early age that showing emotions other than happiness and anger is bad. "Boy's don't cry!" As such, many men have difficulty dealing with their emotions and emotional connections. Sometimes, they feel a near compulsion to 'undo' things that may make them perceived to be too emotional and thus, less of a man.
You can help him overcome this though. When you have these moments, immediately reinforce how much closer you feel to him now, and how much you love your man. And say it that way, tell him you love that he's YOUR MAN. Don't tell him how great it is that he's opening up, that will make him feel like one of your girlfriends.
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