A
female
age
41-50,
*eshellz
writes:I have a very serious question and hopefully someone that has been in a long, serious, loving relationship (married or not) can help. My fiance and I have been together for over 5 years (we've known each other since elementary school). He is the best guy, we are best friends, own a house together, have a blast together and sometimes have really great sex.I love him very much but sometimes I feel as if he isn't 'the one' for me. I have told him this and he was devestated so we did the obvious and postponed the wedding. Certainly the right thing for us to do, but soon after telling him this I can't believe I feel this way b/c I know I love him and want to have kids with him. So we started talking about the wedding again (don't worry not for at least a year) but I'm having those same doubts surface once again. I just don't want to walk down the aisle unless I am absolutely sure, but at the same time, I have a very difficult time making up my mind (some would say I'm fickle and super picky). I have talked with a psychologist and she says it's a problem I have to work on (as in, it's me, not him so I should stick with him). I keep asking myself is it me just being silly scared, or is there really a problem. Last night I had this awesome dream in which some gorgeous guy (excuse my language) was just really giving it to me good, and then I woke up and thought "Is this the problem with Matt? Is it because he doesn't desire me like I think he should" Now I know sex isn't everything, and I have tried in the passed to get him to get a little kinky, which he's improved on. And he gives me orgasms and pleasure and all of that. So maybe it's a problem with me feeling that he doesn't 'desire' me like I want him to (and I'm not gorgeous but I'm a pretty good looking girl) so I just see myself with so many other guys really 'desiring' me. But he is so awesome in so many other ways, that's not a reason not for me to marry him, right? To all of you people in good, long experienced marriages, can anyone help me please. Tell me what you thinking here. Is it me just looking where the grass could be greener (but we all know, too, be careful what you wish for). I could take him to 'sexual couples class or something' but I don't know if that would even do the 'trick'. Any and all detailed help would be really appreciated!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): maybe you have unrealistic expectations. a thunderbolt to prove youre soulmates etc. you can improve on your sex life if you really think that it is the problem but be sure you aren't just putting obstacles in the way because you secretly harbour a desire to be swept off your feet, movie style.
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