A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello there! I have been with my girlfriend for more than a year now and I love her very much. But recently we had some problems. Once after we had a fight she went to her friend and told him about our problems and cried on his shoulder. He comforted her and in the end she kissed him. They were kissing for a while and than they got naked and wanted to have sex but my girlfriend suddenly realized what she was doing and stopped the whole thing. I know all that because she told me. She said that she can't keep it a secret anymore. She agreed never to see this guy again and told me that she feels extremely bad about what she has done and that she loves me and only me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. At first I wanted to break up with her but when I saw how sorry she was I decided not to for I still love her. But this whole thing is eating me from within. I sometimes find myself imagining how it all looked and I get sick when I do so. Is there something I can do to stop this feeling and forget it all. I don't want to leave her so please help me! What am I to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 You'll have to really forgive her. Not just try to move on from it. Why do you feel it's important to imagine what it was like? All though she didn't have sex with him, her behavior was still less than proper. The problem with going and crying on a guys shoulder is it puts them in a compromising position. It's a good Idea with her not seeing him. He's not a friend to her by taking advantage of the situation she was in. You guys need to really talk about this and get it out in the open. It will not only help you to see her love for what it is, it will also help you to get over being fearful that every time you get into a spat that she'd be running someone and getting naked. Doing this says she may love you, but is a bit low with her sense of self. That needs to be worked on. The stronger a person is with themself, the more unlikely it is they allow themselves to be placed in these compromising situations.
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