A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl that I hate very much... I met her a year ago in not so pleasant incident. She is a friend of my bf but it all started when I found out that she has been flirting with my bf for a long time and I wasn't aware of it. Early last year me and my bf had terrible fight about this girl because she keeps on texting and calling my bf even if we are together. At first I didn't mind her because I don't sense anything going on between them. When I tried to browse my bf's cellphone I saw her picture with only her undies in it. I was shocked and confronted my bf about it he was also surprise since he didn't see the picture himself. This girl offered him help to have his phone fixed so I said go ahead. I never thought she would actually do that. I called her up and asked her to explain why she did it and she said it was her bf who passed all the pictures on my bf's phone. I told her you knew that why didn't you erase it. I'm starting feel that there is something with this girl and I don't like it. She stopped communication with him since me and my bf already changed phone number. We both made facebook accounts and I was surprise that after 24 hours she found my bf's account and added him. She wants to be close to my bf's family and friends and I couldn't find her reasons. So out of my anger I made some accounts on facebook and made fun of her. I don't know if what I did was wrong I just wanted her to stay away from my bf and his family. But my bf said that there is really nothing between them it's just her liking him and me thinking not good against him... I wonder if I should take all the blame since my bf is very mad at me for doing that to her??? I mean if she didn't message him on facebook almost everyday I wouldn't be mad after all... What should I do now??? How can I make up for my mistakes???? Do you think that my bf is telling the truth about her???? Im so confused on what to do....
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your answers at least I know I'm not alone feeling this way.. Now It's not only me to blame for all of this... All the things you've said are well appreciated and helped me a lot!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat happen is I was the one who can read all her messages on facebook and the phone num she have been texting was mine also...well let say I planned everything since I wanted to know if she really has feelings for my bf or not and I was right she did have something for him which mad me really upset. in short my boyfriend didn't know anything about this girl communicating to him anymore... he even stopped talking to her a year ago after we had a fight. I chatted to this girls bf on facebook and told him that his gf has been flirting not only with my bf but also with other guys... well they broke up because of me and the girl is blaming me for everything bad thats happening to her now. I admit that somehow I went out of the way but my bf is very upset because of what I did these girl's family are forcing him to leave me and marry their daughter... Which he didn't want to do but because he works near their place pretty much all the family is bothering him on what to do. now he is blaming me for being childish and impulsive...
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Hi,
Let's say that it was wrong of you to make fun on her, that was not the right way to go about, but I don't blame you...
This girl is so rude and disrespectful. This has been going on for more than a year and its enough.. (I know you're already upset, I am not trying to put more gas on the fire, but this girl is really a nightmare)
Its ok that your boyfriend have other female friends, but I don't understand why this particular girl need to talk, text, facebook your boyfriend everyday????
The picture you mentioned? My God?? We both know she's lying and it was her who sent the picture on purpose. Disgusting!! Have no shame... This girl have no class, she's desperate and very selfish. I really dislike people that lie and have no respect for others.
Really, in contact everyday? What is it that is so important that she needs to talk to your boyfriend everyday?
I believe that so far you've been a understanding, patient girlfriend. Also, why your boyfriend need to fight with you over this girl? I mean, I understand that its not your boyfriends fault and he cannot control her feelings and actions, but he can control the amount of times they communicate. Everyday, several times a day is a little bit much.
I hope I am not making you more upset and its not my intensions to make you fight with your boyfriend. I am just putting the facts in prospect and over viewing the situation.
Its not time to fight, but have a talk... Your boyfriend is very aware of this girl and how you feel. My opinion is that you have a calm talk from beginning to end. Let him know how you feel, what bothers you and what you want out of the relationship. Tell him that you love him, respect him and understand him, but that it might be silly to him, but it really bothers you and is affecting the relationship. Tell him that you're not asking to choose sides, but you just want him to cut down, let this girl know that nothing will ever happen between them and tell her to respect him and you.
As much as I understand you and agree with your frustration, don't make any more comments about this girl. You are better than that, show no weakness, don't lower yourself to her level. Don't talk to her anymore, no communications and let your boyfriend take care of the trash :-) thrown in the trash can where she belongs :-)
Ps: trash was a bad taste joke! I don't mean it, I was just trying to make you laugh.. :-). Its ok to make jokes as long as we don't hurt anybody, right? Its between you and me...
Ps: don't call people trash
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (24 June 2011):
 was it childish to do what you did? yeah, of course. but since your boyfriend's not handling the situation appropriately, it forced you to act irrationally. he needs to tell this girl to back off. the respectful/decent thing would be to cut her out of his life if he knows she likes him and she can't at least be respectful of your relationship. it's pretty unfair of him to remain friends with someone like that, and i know i wouldn't put up with it for a second.
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