A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Three months ago I took a trip to my hometown of Palm Springs California. I moved away four years ago and I had to leave in my senior year in high-school and moved to Bakersfield California finishing my senior year at Liberty High School. Back when I lived in palm springs I had a HUGE crush on a girl who I will reference as her pet name I gave her Azucesna (Lilly in Spanish), Absolutely heart shattering how I couldn't contain it in but I never had the courage to ask her out except on my Junior year I asked her to go to PF Chang's with me and it basically turned out to be another friendly outing because I couldn't sum up the courage to ask her. Then I moved to Bakersfield and became more mature VIA the Police Department, and the life experience that I gained while in Bakersfield. For the four years I lived there I felt nothing for no-one, I lost all happiness, faith in friends, and became one irritable person. I took a trip down to Palm springs again to find old friends and family and found her again and we went to Knotts Soak City and had a wonderful time. She mentioned that she went to California State University Fullerton and was living with her grandparents in Rosemead and I thought that I could make this work in my head by going to see her every now and then and we could maybe have something more than friends. Here is were things get complicated, That night after a fun game of Guitar hero at her parents house and a relaxing laying on the couch I fineally summed up my courage and asked her "Azucesna, would it be too much if I asked you to go out with me?". She simply looked down and after a deep breath she told me that "I was an extremely nice guy, and that its complicated..", "Complicated? As in how?" She took another silence moment and said "that she was dating someone else and that if this person wasnt in her life that she would totally date me.". Defeated and heartbroken I asked her if i could ask who the lucky guy was? She took another moment of silence and said that it wasnt a guy, and I immidately knew what was going on. Curious cause ive never had a real conversation on someone on the other side of the spectrum I asked her a couple questions, I asked were she was located and she simple looked at me and stated "Alaska.". At first I thought that "OK Thats real competition there..." and then I asked Azucesna her age, This is were the plot thickens, Azucesna turned slightly red and stated that the other girl was "Fourteen.". My cop instinct immidately turned on and I was seriously hurt, I asked her caringly "and how did this come to be?" she turned to me and said that for the years i was gone she began to play online games and her and this girl (Random nickname) named AlaskaLover played with Azucesna ALOT, eventually feelings developed and they began Long distancing loveing just texting and playing games.After heraring Azucesna's entire story I was crushed inside, we talked for a long time on moralitys and eventually she told me that even though shes taken that I was a great guy, I grew up alot and am not a solid 5-6 inches taller than her, I thinned out from my baby fat of 197 pounds and now I weigh 158 pounds with a 66% muscle precentage and ive always been the old school lover boy. I smiled at her and looked at her beautiful brown eyes and I leaned over and kissed her softly on the mouth and she softly kissed back and smiled greatly. We walked outside and she walked me to my car because I had to leave tomarrow morning for work and the stars were in the thousands and Embraced her with both arms and I told her that I think im in love with her. She blushed and and I went closer in for one last kiss and she reacted frist and kissed me back and we just slowly held eachother in our embrace and rocked back and forth slowly, being a musicly devoted person in school i softly sang the first song that came into my mind, it was Come What may from Mulan Rogue, she smiled and we kissed one last time. She gave me her number and i told her that i would visit her at school in fullerton and she said ok and I strongly hugged her and told her goodbye. The next morning I couldent resist to not see her again and i went to a store and bicked out my own flowers and made her a bouquet and went to her house and gave her the flowers and told her that i would promise to visit her again. She smiled and we hugged and she told me Ok.A week later, I fulfilled my promise and met her at her school wich was only a two hour drive away. She gave me a tour of the school and although the visit was short because I had work from 9 to 7am. I took her to lunch at her favorite place (Pho) and we had a small meal that we shared together and before I left I hugged her again and rocked back and forth and told her that I want to pursue you. "but im taken" she said softly, I told her that I jsut wanted to try and if it dosent work out you can go back to the way things were. We kissed one last time and i waved goodbye and we parted ways again. Two weeks later I visited her place at her grandparents and we played some games and we went to a couple of areas in LA together, We went to the Los Angles Natural History Museum, the Butterfly Gardens were there was hundreds of butterflies the size of your hands and we laughed and smiled alot. After that we went back to her grandparents house, who still havent returned from the casino, and we began watching the food network channel. After about 15 minnutes or so i reached over and untied her shoes and took them off and she said "Oh my gosh what are you doing?" and I smiled and told her to watch and relax, she laid her head back down and i began giveing her a foot rub for a good 20 minnutes. after i stopped she looked up and said that it felt REALLY GOOD and I laid next to her on the couch and we cuddled for the rest of the iron chef show. later that night we went to her room and i sat down on her bed and she sat next to me and I gave her a full back massage for 10 minnutes and then i leaned over and softly kissed her on the back of the neck. We hit first base for like 30 minnutes or so. After we finished we went outside and I embraced her and told her that i would see her next time. She nodded and we kissed one last time and she wrote on my slightly dirty car "Azucesna was here" and i wrote a small "3" and i smiled and told her my goodbyes.THis type of behaivor went on for about a good 1-2 weeks (sometimes over phone or Computer) and then it got REALLY bad. She began to feel resentment because she was cheating on her long distance relationship and we had a long talk about that she needs to choose between a relationship that can work and is closer or she can try to continue to date AlaskaLover. She said all she would have to do is wait 3-4 years and she would move down here and everything would be fine, I told her the reality of that concept; that people change in highschool and she might not be the same person in 3-4 years. This took palce over textmessages and she absolutely COULD not decide. she eventually asked me to talk to AlaskaLover and we should settle what would be best for her. That turned out really well and here comes the ironic part. since this battle was done over textmessages and her distance is VERY long she told Azucesna that she wanted her to be with me and then I at the same time thought the same thing and did not want her to do soemthing that she did not want and sent her the same message at the same time. Felling no regrets or anything she choose AlaskaLover and i was heartbroken, Punked out by time and textmessages when i Won her and I had a chance at happiness. I did not talk to her for some time waiting for things to settle, and then she invited me to come to her dads welcome back party from his Tour in iraq, I agreed and went back over and helped setup the party, we got the catering, setup decorations, and made some food for everyone. We had a pre-talk before and she said that were just friends here, dont expect much. I nodded and told her understood, and we had a wonderful time when everyone began to arrive, Minus Azucesna because of her small feverish conditions and eventually she went and laid down in her room and i sat next to her and began giveing foot rubs now and then. and after everyone started leaving Me and her had some alone time and i began telling her how i TRUElY felt. I told her she is the only thing that makes me happy anymore and that her smiles are the cuteist thing ever, and that her eyes light up my world. we embraced, Kissed, Cuddeled, the whole First base shabang and some Second base and she seemed happy.Just as things were begining to look great on my end, I visited her for the last time recently at her school with the intent of watching her play lacrosse, her passtime sport for the spring season (Practice starts in fall) and i left at 3:30 am abd got there at her house around 5:30am, I brought her a 12 pack of Rootbeer cause i know that she loves it, and i brought her some massage oil that I normally use after i workout and then my own personal gift my Duty tazer that i want her to carry for her own personal protection while in LA. She came out of the house, looking as if she had rolled out of bed and we drove to Cal State Fullerton. We got there extremely fast cause of the carpool lane, we sang Bohemian Rapsody from Queen and we were smileing and haveing fun. When we got there and we walked outside I grabbed her hand and held it in public and she started to look down. I asked her "Are you ok?" and she said that she hasnt done this in awhile in public and i told her "Well time to get some practice in." I walked her to her class and i carried her stuff and i hugged her and kissed her outside the door, and i decided at the last minnute to sneak in and sit in the class with her and try and learn something. In the class the teacher was doing Algebra 2 and discussing soemthing about soundwaves and math wich is right up my ally in the music hobby and i learned some math using something that i love to do. After class we went downstairs in the school lounge and played an hour of pool, I lost 3 to 1 she beat me. and then we went back to her car and had the intentions of taking a nap in her car to get rested for Lacrosse. We laid in the back of her car Toyed around with the tazer and i showed her how to use it and the proper way to use it; the Do's and Don'ts of using it and when its approperiate. she laid down and i took off her shoes and gave her a short foot rub, and then proceeded to give her a full back rub. After 20 minnutes or so, she rested her head down on my lap and i could not resist the urge of Kissing her and hitting first base. After about 5 minnutes of this i rounded second and began playing around, I wont go into details due to concerning parties. It eventually led to from First, Second to Third base, and i began playing with her. trying to make her Orgasm, and she attempted to help me and she had a minor one and then she rested for a bit. Then i brought out mine and im not going to lie, shes the best ever. I must have gasped at least 80 times, Eventually she really did want to rest and she normally did that in the trunk and we folded the seats down and removed some of the clutter in the trunk and we both squezzed in. being my first time sleeping in the trunk, it was quite cozy and made it all the better with is being all Horny and aroused. After awhile of just sitting there, we begin rounding the bases again, In the dark i can see her closing her eyes and smileing as i pleased her, and then she began to take over, and i assisted her and i saw her spaz out from a moderate orgasm, in my personal opinion it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen. I was all hard and she began to round the bases with me and again shes the best ive ever had and being the most open with this experiment we had a really good time. After a good while, i laid on top of her and we fineally very slowly rounded Home base so she could have the experience for the first time and her smile and face made me extremely excited and i began to go faster. Fineally exausted, after an hour and a half of playtime later We laid down and began to sleep for two hours in the trunk, Me in my shirt and boxers and her with her landure on we rested softly in eachothers arms.I woke up, and kissed her awake and we began to get dressed, and clean up (Very hard in a trunk) and we got ready and ate some chineese food, and then we went back to the car and she began to sleep again. we talked for a long time and this is when i personally was hurt the most to the point of almost crying. She told me that we shouldent have done that and i agreed, but were human and it was just an experiment. She felt extreme remorse and then told me about how bad she felt about cheating on AlaskaLover to this extreme and i told her that if she wanted to blame it all on me that would be fine, i dont mind being the enemy. She said "No, because we both agreed to it so its my fault as well." Talking for hours we fineally said the words that would bring my soul to ruin, "I think we should stay friends, Ive cheated on AlaskaLover too much and shes done nothing wrong to me, Im really sorry". I tried to argue with it over 30 minnutes but to my understanding, i had lost. She leaned over on me and we cuddled for a long time. She told me that she enjoyed today, She enjoyed pelaseing me, she said i was a really good kisser, and that she enjoyed it when i pleased her. As i rested my head on her we sat in silence for a while and i cried soundlessly not wanting her to hear. It was for the best i kept telling myself and i turned her head towards mine, and she told me that she was sorry, I looked down at her and just kissed her softly, and she kissed me back. And Ironicly enough we began visiting First and second and Third base again but no home this time, and we skipped lacrosse practice and she took me back to her place so i could get my car and drive home. The drive back was extremely quiet, Trying to break the silence i began palying songs on my phone that ment alot to me and sang them in my best voice. Ariveing at her house (It was now raining lightly) I looked at her and told her caringly "Heres the part were someone would say how much they love them and care for them, But i have nothing left to say." (I wanted to add that I had nothing left to say that she would listen to.) and i got out and walked over, gave her a long hug in the rain, Kissed her on the side of the head, and began to open my door. I grabbed three sodas that fell out of the 12 pack i got her and handed them to her adn gave her one last hug, and told her "Goodbye, Azucesna (I used her nickname for this)". and i got in my car and moved out of the way so she could park, and i honked my horn and waved sorrfully and i proceeded back to bakersfield in the heavy rain and dangerous conditions over the grape vine.As of current she is not talking to me anymore and it dosent even seem like were best friends. I admit shes being silly but what do i do?
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best friend, crush, first base, flowers, heartbroken, horny, kisser, kissing, long distance, moved out, muscle, online game, online gaming, orgasm, second base, text, third base, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, openmind +, writes (30 October 2009):
She likes you friend i have no doubt in my mind but she is in love with her alaska girl you can plainly see as thats the girl who she chooses in the end every time. For now let her be happy if you love her that is what you must do, perhaps in time this Alaska thing wont work out bc the girl is so young if it doesnt then maybe you have a chance but your girl may be gay and was just testing her sexuality out with you. Love is a hard game and a vicious cycle look for another girl for now if it is meant to be then it will be good luck
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