A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The doctor told me that I had damage to my pelvic wall and I will probably always have to deal with the discomfort, but I don't know if I trust that that's what it is, I've had a pap test so I know I'm clean from STD's but it's really irritated then usual. I thought that because I was having sex that it was irritating it even more so my boyfriend and I have had sex twice in the past two weeks. I don't even like it when he fingers me, because around my vagina on the outside and the tip of the inside stings and leaves me with discomfort that lasts for days after intercourse. Can someone shed a little light on this for me? Or on my 'condition' And is there anything I can do to reduce the discomfort?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 "Some of my girlfriends,say that they get a stinging sensation after too much sex, or too much rough sex. I'm not sure if this true, or if it applies to anyone else?"
Yes this applied to others, I've experienced this and I am convinced that this is a normal and natural result. The skin in this area is especially sensitive, and it doesnt take much to get sore. Imagine rubbing sandpaper on your arm, it will hurt and sting, and after a while get intolerable. Same thing is what in essense is happening with rough sex. You might feel that you are wet enough, but the vagina gets tired and the friction can cause harm, resulting in this stinging feeling.
If the stinging comes from too rough sex, I experience that peeing afterwards hurt. Because the urine gets in touch with the sore area. Water can sting too afterwards.
You've always had this problem so we can rule out your partner causing the trouble. You can ask him if he experiences your vagina as particularly tight. But even so, I don't believe my own vagina is patricularly tight, as no boyfriend has ever "complained" or said anything in that manner, but I do often experience pain when penis is inserted. This often happens when Im not given enough time to prepare, Im not wet enough, or maybe not in the mood really. It sometimes happens even if I am wet and everything in theory should be fine. At that time I held off from sex COMPLETELY for about two-three weeks. One weel off was not enough. And as soon as you have sex you'll have to start from the beginning again and waiting two more weeks. Say you waited one week and have sex, you'll need to start all over again and wait two weeks.
I don't know if this waiting will help you, but it could heal whatever small cut there might be around the opening. The pain experienced in my case, and probably also the pain your friends described, is experienced at the point of entry, because that is when the penis is forcing it's way in. In my experience, once it's in, its alright.
Try this: will sex be better if your boyfriend stays in you during the entire intercourse? Is sex worse if he pulls out and then re-enters?
As for the infections, always pee after sex. That prevents the infection. Did you doctor talk to you about that? Mine didn't, I had a horrible doctor, and I got the UTI about every other month. But peeing after sex helps. Then also stay in shape and be healthy so your body is stronger, that will make you less likely of getting the infections. Eat cranberies, drink cranberry juice! Or take cranberry pills, they absolutely work to prevent UTI. Orange juice or lemon juice works as well. I try to drink a lot of orange juice as I can't stand cranberry juice, and am working out to stay in shape and I havent had a UTI in a year now.
If you continuously have these problems it sounds like you are unfortunately just one of those women more subjected to get them. Changing partners often causes a UTI and yeast infection as well, so I recommend that if you have a new partner to use a condom.
Which brings up: are you using condoms? They can sometimes be the cause of the pain, and sometimes they can be what prevents the pain. So I suggest you experiment with different condoms, or even stop using them if you find that they are the cause. In my experience condoms created extra friction and it would just hurt a ton. If you have your partner tested clean of STD's as well, start on birth-control and try without condoms and see if that helps.
As for your romantic weekend. Romantic isn't the same as sex. You can have a romantic time without sex. Do massages, or maybe give him head. Does it sting and hurt when he licks you as well? Keep in mind that IF you have a cut down there, his saliva will probably sting as well. Which is all the more reason to wait. What is a romantic weekend anyways if you're just going to be in pain? I am sure you don't find that particulary romantic.
Sorry that this was so extremely lengty. I hope it can help you in some way, and please don't be shy to contact me again if you want to talk more about this or give me updates. I struggled for a while with pains from sex as well and this is just what I learned helped me. Good luck, and hope you get better! Sex should not be painful!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionChigirl: The doctor didn't give me an explanation as why there would be damage to my pelvic wall, it could be a number of this.. (like rough sex) He said that to talk comfortably about it to my partner and for him to make sure that when we are having intercourse that it's not jamming against the wall. (My pelvic wall) He's not my first partner, and I've always had problems, like UTI's, bladder infections, yeast infections.. etc, that's why I'm not fully satisfied with my diagnosis. I don't bleed during sex, and intercourse doesn't hurt, just after it hurts.
Some of my girlfriends,say that they get a stinging sensation after too much sex, or too much rough sex. I'm not sure if this true, or if it applies to anyone else?
I don't think not using lube is the problem, because I get fairly wet and the penis never has a problem entering my vagina. It's just that before it enters or when the tip is, around my vagina burns and stings, sometimes it feels itchy and I can tell it looks irriated because it will be red.
I've held off from the sex alot in the past two weeks, more then I usually do. But I still get the discomfort. I' trying hard to stay away from intercourse, but my partner and I have been planning a 'romantic' weekend for this may-long for over a month. So does this mean I shouldn't have sex?
I hope that with the questions I answered, you can help me out more. Thanks!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (18 May 2010):
Can you describe to us what the pelvic wall is? I tried to google but can't find a good explanation. Did the doctor give you a thorough examination?
"around my vagina on the outside and the tip of the inside stings and leaves me with discomfort that lasts for days after intercourse." About this, the stinginess, did you doctor give you an explanation for this? Is your boyfriend well endoved? Is he your first partner? Have you experienced this discomfort with other partners? It could be that either your vagina is so tight, or his penis large, or that you aren't careful enough, that during intercourse the friction gives you burns and may actually cut your skin a little. Do you bleed during intercourse? Is your boyfriend too rough with the fingering?
How did you damage the pelvic wall? Did your doctor give you an explanation for that?
I am sorry I am asking so many questions, but without this information it is quite hard to tell. My first thought though is that the stingyness comes from too rough sex, and not enough lube, or that you tense up so much the friction hurts you. Stay off from sex for a while, maybe a month or two and heal up and see if it still stings. If you have a wound, continous sex will make it worse, and you need time to heal up. As for the pelvic wall I don't know what it is exactly so I can't help you there.
If you don't want to take your doctors word for it, get a second opinion by seeing another doctor about it. Nothing wrong with that. You need to make sure to get the best of help for you, and obediently listening to what one doctor says might not be in your best interest. If you are insure of the "diagnosis", see another doctor as well.
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