A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years.I am his first serious relationship, and he is my first adult relationship.We are both very stubborn and always feel we are right. When we speak calmly, we can understand the other person's point of view, but it takes little to set us off and once one of us starts yelling, the other is sure to follow.About a month ago, we had a really good talk about what we each needed from our relationship and it seemed like we were definitely on the right track and the same page. I had been very sick so the physical aspect of our relationship had been put on hold for quite awhile. I didn't make any advances and neither did he, I think we both feared rejection.A few weeks ago we had another fight. I figured it would blow-over like all the rest, especially after the great talk we had. He wanted to end things. He told me he doesn't know how to make me happy and feels responsible for me when I am sad.Now we are "on a break". We text almost every day, have chatted a few times on the phone and have even hung out. When I sit close to him, he usually moves away, although he hugs me hello and good-bye and usually tells me how great it was to see me.I guess I'm wondering why is he still talking to me if he really wants things to end? I want us to stay together. Is there anything I can do to help him see our problems are fixable and that he's not responsible for my happiness?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): i don't actualli know what goes through boy's heads lol but if you love him + he make's you happy and he feels the same about you then you'll have to work at your relationship as no-one said it'd be easy infact relationships are very hard but you've just gotta ask yourself if he's worth it :) + if he is then do all you can to sort this out whether it means spending time apart or whatever
i hope i have helped you and that you work things out with him x :D
your's helpfullie
love
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Well I think that just talking with him will get you the best results. It's extremely hard for someone with true feelings to just drop everything and walk away from the situation. He's probably afraid that he'll get in too deep and then when things don't work out it will just hurt more.
Lay your cards on the table. If you're going to be in a relationship you will need to be able to compromise and be flexible. You should just let yourself be vulnerable with him (it is a risky thing for most of us to do) but it will show him that you are willing to put yourself out there for the good of the relationship.
Even good relationships should always be worked on. Every couple should constantly be trying to make their relationship better, even if they think it's perfect. No relationship ever just happens perfectly. Tell him that it's fixable. Don't tell him it probably is tell him it DEFINITELY is and that you are willing to do whatever is necessary.
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