A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ever since my girlfriend started her new job more than two months ago, our sex life has gone through the floor. Three times a week to one time a week, sometimes once every two weeks, and that one time she wants to do it is often when I don't feel like it (like when I've worked for nearly 14 hours, and am just plain exhausted, and want to go to sleep). If I say I'm too tired, she gets upset.I've tried avoiding talking about sex, looking at her naked, touching her intimate areas, everything, and that seems to help, but she gets upset occasionally and asks if I am still sexually attracted to her. I've kinda started turning to porn for the first time in our 2 and a half year relationship. I somewhat feel guilty about it, but I have been somewhat able to reduce my desire to want to have sex with my girlfriend, the flip side; I still have a high libido.Just curious if there are any anaphrodisiacs, any mind tricks, you-name-it, anything to DECREASE my libido. There are tons of informal websites on how to increase it, but to actually decrease it, very little. Thanks
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Rather than trying to fix the problem short term, you need to find a way to address the problem at it's root. Everyone gets stressed, but you need to find ways to work around that. You should talk to her about ways to have more sex. I know it sounds unromantic, but among people with hectic schedules sometimes you have to plan time to have sex.From you saying she asks if you're still attracted to her, my guess if that she doesn't feel very sexy. Stressed people probably aren't feeling at their hottest. Try making her feel like the sexiest woman alive, make sure she knows that you truly find her attractive.Also find out if there's anything you can do to make sex better for her, make sure she's satisfied when you do have sex so she'll feel excited about it. You two need to find a way to bring some excitement back into your sex life, make it something to look forward to, something fun. Just having your own separate sex lives is a recipe for disaster.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2011): Masturbate allot, I'm being serious. I've been married for 10 years and because of her almost nonexistent libido, we have basically no sex life. I have (had) a high sex drive so I masturbated heaps to porn, babes on tv, magazines and so on just to cool off my sex drive. If you do it often enough, you get sick of sex, porn, naked girls and all the rest. After a while you lose all interest. Your sex drive slowly dies down to a very low level. Once you have reached that point, you don’t need to masturbate so often. It makes you feel a bit depressed at times but this is better than sexual frustration, sexual frustration makes you even more depressed.
I know this sucks, a balanced sex life would be the ideal situation, but unfortunately some of us don’t get that luxury in life.
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