A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im not sure what to do about a situation with my fiance. He is a really really great guy, very loving kind and caring and always treating me to nice things when he can. When we first got together he was so much fun and i loved spending time with him.Things seem to have changed though now, he seems depressed a lot of the time and really insecure. he needs constant reassurance that i love him but it seems no matter how many times i tell him this it never seems enough. he keeps saying he doesnt feel like he deserves to be with me and hes not good enough. I always try encourge him to be more positive and constantly remind him how great he is at the things he does. sometimes he'll cheer up... for a while. and then its like he forgets and gets sad again and i have to go though it all again. on valentines day i made him a romantic box of things to show him how much i care and how much thought id put into it for him(thinking just telling him i love him etc wasnt enough), but that turned out to be a disaster as he said he felt worse now because he hadnt put as much effort into a gift as i had.Its really starting to get me down as well because i feel really useless. it seems nothing i do can keep him happy. I did talk to him about it and he said its not my fault he gets sad and im the only one keeping him happy but it just doesnt feel that way. He works away in another country for months on end and says when he gets to stay home for good he'll be happy. but im just not sure he will be.We had a weekend away and we went shopping to cheer ourselves up but even then he was upset because he had no money left. hed just bought me some expensive hair straighteners (that i didnt need as i already have some) a few days before but i told him to take them back so he would have some money to treat himself when we went shopping but he refused. he was also making comments about clothes i picked out. when a skirt i tried on didnt fit he said he was glad it didnt fit because he didnt want other guys to see my legs and was being really grumpy.i ened pu going home from shopping with nothing as i felt too bad to buy anything.Is there anything I can do to cheer my guy up or will I just have to get used to feeling so useless?
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female
reader, beautifulllove  +, writes (22 April 2007):
 gosh my relationship has been thru alot but hey you do love him so it will be ok; my fiance went thru depression and he got real bad were nothing was good enough he was mean to me and just emotionally numb i helped him thru it the best way i can i say keep telling him nice things and that you love him even thow it can b kinda stressful youll be ok if the relationship is worth it and the love is strong and i do know what your going thru hes not as bad but still kinda depressed and maybe when he gets out of this than you could get him some help i wish you the best and also this him being depressed will make him more jealious if you need any help message me
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): Since trying to cheer him up doesn't seem to work, my suggestion would be to stop trying!
Seriously, just enjoy the time you are together and maybe talk about your wedding plans, for your future life.
The only other thought I have is that he might perhaps be clinically depressed. May be worth looking into.
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