A
female
age
30-35,
*aphne...x
writes:I need help badly. I've made a big mistake in pushing my boyfriend away and now he's moved out. I had just came out of an abusive relationship with an ex when I was 5 months pregnant and pretty much jumped back with my ex, realising that the guy I was with was just a rebound from him. Not realising it with all the stress, I've been taking my stress out on my current partner which has resulted in him moving out. I really want this relationship to work and I love him with all of my heart. We've both got the same temper and are really stubborn, but I admit this was all my fault. Is there any going back once you've pushed someone away unintentionally? I don't know what to do and I feel awful, even though I probably deserve it. Any advice?
View related questions:
moved out, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2012): Whether or not it was intentional, you did push him away. so it's entirely up to him if he ever wants to come back or not. All you can do is learn how to handle your emotions and feelings better so that you will be OK if he decides not to come back.
you should also take some time to be on your own and not be in any relationship for awhile. If you've come out of an abusive relationship you need time to heal from that so you don't project those issues onto a new partner because those issues are still fresh in your mind. You also need time to think about what caused you to get involved in an abusive relationship in the first place and how it has affected you, what lessons did you learn from that experience, and what do you need to do differently next time around. You can't do this objectively if you're already in a new relationship. And for many people this is why they jump into new relationships because it takes their mind off their past. Well, that's not necessarily good if it means you aren't learning from your past mistakes because you're not thinking about them.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 rYour last relationship was a rebound, so you need to tell your current partner that. But also that relationship must have had some effect on you, so you need to take some time out on your own to settle your head and try to get back to normal before getting back in u almost make it sound like you were in a perfect relationship but you screwed it up. You need to take some time out and be on your own for a while, expain to your partner that you need some time to organise things, and then just take things as they come but make sure you feel completely ready. Jumping from one relationship to another wont do you any good!
...............................
|
