A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:It's been awhile since I have came to you guys for help. My boyfriend and I of 1 year and 3 months broke up today he said he didn't want the relationship anymore and stuff. He told me the reason he broke up with me is because last summer I cheated on him with my child's father I didn't have sex with him we just kissed and we would text each other any way my boyfriend now ex said that after that he changed he said he didn't feel like his self and things didn't feel right. Then he said another reason for the break up was because he got tires of paying all the billa hisself and the last reason is because of all the drama and fighting between me my child's father and his wife over child support and my child's father not seeing my child. Any way he said he couldn't deal with it anymore but I found out that he has been dating another girl for a month. He told me a few days ago that he wanted us to work things out and he was being sweet and stuff. Anyway yesterday he paid for my tuition fee to go to a training program/ school. He said he wanted me and my daughter to have a new life and stuff. I know I shouldn't want him back but I do because he has changed my life and he's wanted nothing but for me to better mine and my daughters future. Is there any hope of getting him back? We've had something similar to this happen last summer he moved out for a Month and a half and then I got to the point where I was done for good and he knew that. I didn't contact him or anything. He kept saying he didn't know if he wanted to be with me and blah blah blah and after not talking to him he texted me and said he missed me and ddidn't want us to be over. He told me today that he would miss everything we had and that he would miss me and him being together and that he would also miss my daughter because he helped raise her for over a year. Any way is there any hope of getting him back like I did before? Or is it just to late?
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 June 2014):
It's hard to say if it's too late or not but he does have some pretty good reason to leave for good. There's no guaranteed way to get someone back, but there are things that will definitely not work:
Begging
Harassing
Fighting
Stalking
Being extra nice (kissing his ass)
Etc.
Avoid these things and you'll be better off. I'd also suggest going no contact like you did last time. Just move on with your life and it may encourage him to come back. If he doesn't, you'll still be one step closer to getting over him.
In all honesty, he may have been good at taking care of you, but it doesn't sound like there's a whole lot of compatibility there. He obviously can't get over you cheating, and the fact that it was with someone who you have to have in your life makes it worse.
He's found someone else, so maybe if things don't work out with them he'll come back. Right now he's unaware of all of her imperfections, and he's had plenty of time to discover yours, so it may be hard to get him to leave.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2014): It is difficult to say. It is never too late. However, whether this is good or bad is a different thing. Your situation is quite complex. Most guys try to avoid single moms, especially with problems and bags. The good thing is, however, that he knows you and he has affection for you and your child.If there's confidence between you two, send him the post and additionally tell him that you will go on with your life regardless what his choice is. Something might happen in a few days, weeks, or years or never. The only thing that is certain is that you have a life and daughter ahead that you must cherish. Some single women in their 40s wish they were in your situation (with a daughter, etc). Live life, continue your education, raise your daughter well... this is what you can control; the rest you can not and have to let things work they way they are supposed to work out after you have done the best you could.
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