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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Good day everyone,I apologise for the long post. My problem is that I don't like the person I've become. I grew up as a very quiet child and teenager, often not saying anything when I should have. It affected my grades, at my work place and relationships with other people. And so after years of feeling like I was missing out, I pushed myself to become more extroverted. Today, I am a more vocal person and it has helped me a lot in life. But sometimes I feel like I've taken it too far. I have always been very short tempered and the thoughts of rage were mostly kept to myself and it would cool off after a while and nobody would get hurt. Off late even the anger comes out verbally. I was at a football (soccer) game with a few of my friends recently and this one guy from the other team kept fouling us. I let the first few fouls on me go and after another one I just snapped and threatened him. At the time it felt great but I also realised nobody else reacted to him the way I did. I felt so embarrassed after the game n realised that this was not a one off. There seems to be no filter between the thoughts in my head and words coming out of my mouth. I do not wish to hurt people. Is there anyway I can stop myself from vocalising the thoughts I have in my head? I know that not everything? i have to say in general is entertained by others and I'm less bothered about that, because I'm not hurting anyone. But I can't seem to keep a lid on the angry rants. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2017): Edit: "There are a few exercises that can be very helpful and they're quiet simple."
Correct: "There are a few exercises that can be very helpful, and they're quite simple."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2017): There are a few exercises that can be very helpful and they're quiet simple.
When you feel anger coming on, stop and count ten deep-breaths followed by slow exhales each. Before you speak, count backwards from 20. I taught my nephew this trick. It works!
You can spend money on therapy if you feel really out of control; but what is anger-management but teaching you how to distract yourself from losing your temper? How to calm yourself.
Everything doesn't require a therapist to teach us how to be adults and conscientious human beings. You know right from wrong, and how you want to be treated by others.
You taught yourself to be more outspoken. Now teach yourself to think before speaking; and to use self-control and self-discipline to control your temper and verbal-responses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2017): Probably you've been bottling up of this rage and anger something that happened in your childhood. Quiet child and had to force yourself to be extroverted. If you've lost control of your action*Point behavior then you sad to say. Ybe the best thing to do right now is to stop playing the sport that makes you so angry. If you can't abide by its spoken and unspoken rules then you shouldn't be playing it. It's kind of sad actually but maybe part of what's happening is that you are learning and important thing about yourself. I don't have the answer for how do you stop but I think it's a good thing that you asked have stopped. So why are you so quiet? Ask someone someone can help you like your doctor maybe?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 June 2017):
 Maybe start by practicing some self-restraint and self-control. If you get mad or have a need to say something COUNT to 10 first and think it over what you want to say and whether it is appropriate. you will find that 9 out of 10 times they are not and there is no need to say anything.
If these episodes are mostly when you are ANGRY, then perhaps you need to consider a therapist and work out why you all of a sudden have totally lost your filter when angry.
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