A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ivee met this guy a few years ago..he caught my eye the moment i saw him..but back then i was young and went for what i wanted,he stuck around which i was because i guess he liked me,one weekend we both ended up at the same club next thing led to another,we were dancing together and making out,the night ended and he never asked for my number it was just a hug and a good bye. back then i was 16 and he was about 20 or so..now i am 18 and he is barely turning 23 not much of an age difference. He has now contacted me and wants to talk to me but i dont know if i should fall for it. He is in fact the biggest player in town and can get any girl he could ever want. One of my best friend had actually talked to him and they then hung out at a local cluub,but she then said he bailed after just a few mins. He also told her that i was too young for him and that im cute but his not interested,but when he talks to me he sounds completely interested,tells me everything about himself even flirts here and there. After so much history together i feel like we should work it out and see what happens. But i dont know how i can get that to happen.and before i try to make it happen i have a question. Is there any chance that he maybe lied to my friend to hide his true feelings for me or maybe my friend perhaps made it up because she wants to get with him. He is a club promoted which means he parties none stop. How do i get him to settle down with meHe was in love with a girl that had cheated on him with his best friend,is there any way i can get him to see me for me? how can i make him want me? and is there any chance at all he is interested in me? pleaseee hellppppp asap !
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2011):
 Of course he sounds sincere and convincing when he talks to you- what kind of a player would he be if he wasn't good at playing people and tell them what they want to hear ?:)
Now, I can't read minds, particularly from a distance,so I have no idea if your friend may have lied because she was jealous, or if he downplayed his interest in you because deep down he's shy and reserved etc. etc. Everything could be,stranger things have happened.
BUT I would not be too gung - ho about this conquest. Why ? because you are already starting on the wrong foot, you like the guy that you want him to be and not the guy he is now. He is the bigger player in town , he is an all around party boy, and from what you say it's not like he fell in love and he's in hot pursuit, he's just being blandy flirtatious ( you don't have a lot of history together, you have a lot of him chatting you up, it's different ). And, you want to make him into a serious devoted committed boyfriend.
You can't make people change, you can't make them be or do anything unless they want it first.
All you can do, when you meet a person, with faults and imperfections like everybody in the world, is to decide what are the faults you can live with / accept / tolerate, and what are the real dealbreakers, and if there are any, avoid- avoid at all costs. Things won't change, or may be they'll change along the years , but at a disproportionate cost in distress and humiliation for you.
Does it mean you have to eschew him like the plague ? No, if you like him so much. But, proceed with caution, keep your ears and eyes well open, and don't believe anything of what he says unless he clearly backs it up by actions . Talk is cheap.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 September 2011):
 so date him. go out with him do NOT sleep with him.
IF he wants you he will court you..... even in this day and age....
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