A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright. I'm a closeted 16 year old male and I've never been in a relationship with a guy or girl. I've often dreamed of having a secret gay relationship, and there is a cute guy in my class who I am 90% sure is gay (if not gay, then ultra-metrosexual), and my gaydar accuracy is about 70%. My school is small, so I pretty much know everyone well in my grade. But anyway, I like him and I really want him to know and I really want him to like me, but I'm not sure at all what I am doing! We are kind of friends; like we not super close but we talk. In fact, he does randomly start talking to me sometimes and I'm not sure if he's trying to be friendly or if he is trying to send some type of message to me by doing that. I try to be subtly flirtatious, for example in class I try to make eye contact with him, and one time I was talking to him and he was sitting down and I was leaning on the table kind of moving my ass a little. And we joke around with each other too. But, these kind of occurrences are usually only during class. We don't really talk outside of class, and we hang out with different people and we have somewhat different personalities. He's into fashion and dressing well and I'm not. But, I guess my question/s are...how do 100% know he's gay?; is he flirting with me too?; how can I express my feelings to him without outing myself?; and what can I do to be more flirtatious?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): hey man i am in the same boat as you except the guy i like is dating one of my close friends and i am sure he is straight all the way. what i would do and what im going to do is just take it really slow, like when your around him like give him a shoulder massage. if he slides away stop, and move even slower. what i did to an old crush was play with his hair at football games and other school events. of course this didnt work because we stopped hanging out. but just take it slow and flirt a little...if he is a friend the worst thing that could happen is that he could tell you that he doesn't care that your gay but im not so dont hit on me. i hope you have the best luck in the world and repost if you get him...but make sure that before you make any moves you are either alone or with people you know are not homophobic because i made the mistake of kissing my bi friend on the cheek at a football game and someone i was talking to saw and it got ugly...a week later i was jumped...another thing to do if you havent come out to anyone yet is that if your school has an anti discrimination club then go to it they really help, i know this from experience. when i first heard about the club i thought it was the gayest thing ever but it feels great when you can go into a room and have ppl know your gay or lesbian and not care about it.
A
male
reader, MajorPayne  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 OMG!! we have the exact same problem!except the guy i like has a girlfriendhe askd me if i hated her, and he always tells me about their personal stuff. he trusts me and he knows im bi but he hasn't told anyone, but he flirts with me and turns me on.. i ddont know if hes doing this on purpose!anywayzz my advice to you isdon't get too close! cause if your wrongyou will seriously get hurt! wait for him to make a move on you and if he doesn'tthen you've gotta change classes or something get away from him! don't look at him... u don't wanna get rejected cause believe me that hurts so MUCH!!
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A
female
reader, Sadi +, writes (3 March 2007):
 Ok I got it.. When I was in junior High, I had a gay friend who was in the closet as well.. I was the ONLY girl who knew.. He had a crush on this guy, and we absolutly could not tell either.. So my friend asked me the same advice... Now I am 22 yrs old, and my gay friend married this man...
Okay.. let's say you invite him to a movie... ( make sure there is a gay guy or couple in the movie )When you're watching the movie... kinda make a joke... like, " wow, what would you do if a man hit on you? " But, dont sound all smart-a$s about it... Because if you do, he will think your like a homo-phobic.. and he'll act all manly.. If he has one of those " oh i dont know " kinda answers, be more up forward with him.. like.. Well, would you be-freind a gay guy? And from his reaction, you should know.... Good luck... If you want more personal advice on this matter, look me up... and i will ask my friend his opinion... :)
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